Holy flying wads of ducttape on a hot tin roof, Batman! I just got Flash 5 and Freehand 9 today while hanging around SMU. Both products are $400 normally, but I got them together at an educational discount for only $150! And it’s the full version! And I saved $650! Boo yeah! God, I love living 5 blocks away from a college. Woo, with Freehand, version 1.0 of The Nine Muses is going to rock the spockmonkey. ::squeals in complete and utter joy::

Hey, is anyone else here from Texas? Are you going to ISAS? Leave a comment. We can make bigplans! I’m going for my photography stuff. And I’m rooming with my best friends, Chungy and Nancy! In room 42! How cool is that? YAAAAYYY!!! ::explodes::

Kell talked about irrational childhood fears yesterday. I think I’ll add to the pile.

1: When I was younger, I was always terrified that when I walked through elevator doors, they’d close on me. I would always jump through the opening as fast as humanly possible to avoid this. My sister laughed her head off at me, because she was all cool and mature in her 2 1/2 years to my senior.
2: Parrots. I was terrified of parrots. When I was about 7, I went to my friend Brittany’s house. She had a parrot named Sinbad. We were hiding from it (the parrot was evil) when I decided I would take it back to its “cage” area. I held out this stick they use to carry him, he climbed on, and I was bringing him to the cage area, when suddenly the parrot flew to the top of the stick and dug its nasty little beak into my thumb. Blood was everywhere. Luckily, I didn’t have to go to the hospital or anything. I just have a crescent-shaped scar to show for it, but I hate all parrots with a passion. After that adventure, Brittany gave Sinbad away.
3: I’ve never really been afraid of heights. I’ve been afraid of things I like (ex: notebooks, cameras, etc) falling from them! I don’t care about myself falling from them; I just don’t want to lose my stuff!

Dear Friends,

Don’t break this chain – this one’s different!

This chain letter was started in hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discouraged women.

Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost anything. Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally tired and discontented.

Then bundle up your husband or boyfriend and send him to the woman whose name appears at the top of the following list, and add your name to the bottom of the list.

When your turn comes, you will receive 15,625 men. One of them is bound to be better than the one you already have.

At the writing of this letter, a friend of mine had already received 184 men, of whom 4 were maybe worth keeping. REMEMBER this chain letter brings luck.

One woman’s cat died, and the next day she received a hunk.

An unmarried woman living with her widowed mother was able to choose between an actor and an Olympic swimmer.

You can be lucky, too, but DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN! One woman broke the chain and got her own husband back again!

Let’s keep it going, ladies! Just add your name to the list below!

1. Hillary Clinton
Chappaqua, NY

Yay! It worked that time! And one of my missing entries is back! Hurrah!

Why the bloody fruitbats has blogger not published my last entries? Grr, I hate revamps. Everything stops working!

Yay! Last night, I went to sleep at 11 instead of 1:30! And I fell asleep around 9 while doing my history homework, and my mom had to wake me up at 10. I feel all well rested and such! 8 hours of sleep is always a good idea, kids. Surprisingly, 4 1/2 just doesn’t seem to cut it.

Today in English class, Mrs. Radtke (my rockin’ English teacher! With my influence, she made The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy the common book for next year!) told us about a nifty new project for Merchant of Venice. We’re supposed to take a scene and put it into another place or time. For example, Hamlet vs. The Lion King, West Side Story vs. Romeo and Juliet, Clueless vs. Emma, etc. Just for humor’s sake, I pondered what would happen if I put it into the Harry Potter world.

Antonio: Hello, I am Antonio Potter, and this is my best friend Baronio! Baronio is a bit short on cash at the moment, so instead of lending him some of my vast fortune, I’ll make him go to this guy that I really hate, Professor Shylock!
Shylock: Grr, I’m Professor Severus Shylock. I’m supposed to be the guy everybody hates, but if you really examine the story, I’m not all bad. I’m just really annoyed because my favourite student, Lancelet Draco, moved to Gryffindor and started dating Baronio’s sister. Also, I don’t want to lend Baronio money because he is Antonio’s best friend, and I think Antonio is a complete and utter git.
Baronio: I know Antonio lent me money in the past and I didn’t pay him back, but this time I will! I need 30 thousand galleons to impress the fair Hermia, then once I marry her, I can get all her money and we can pay back Professor Shylock!
Shylock: To make sure that you pay me back, I think that if you don’t, I’ll take 5,000 points from Gryffindor!
((Baronio is shocked))
Antonio: Don’t worry, Baronio! I trust that you’ll pay back Professor Shylock! You don’t have to worry about me!
Baronio: ((gulp))
((Baronio suddenly loses his money for something entirely not his fault))
Baronio: Oh, no! I must get Hermia’s money! Otherwise, Professor Shylock will take 5 thousand points from Gryffindor!
Hermia: My dad says that you have to figure out which one of these vials of polyjuice contains one of my hairs. If you choose the right one, you can marry me!
Baronio: . . .
Hermia: It’s the one on the left, you git.
Baronio: It’s the one on the left!
Hermia: Ooh, Baronio! You’re so clever! ::covers him with kisses:: Here, take this Herbology textbook. Treasure it. It’s supposed to be symbolic of something or other.
Baronio: Cool.
Hermia: . . .
Nerisshanks: ((suddenly capable of speech)) Well, you two are happily paired off, and I have to tell you that Pigwidgeiano and I are going to get married as well!
Hermia: But aren’t you both guys?
Nerisshanks: Actually, Pig has been a girl all along.
Hermia: How nifty! Ok, Baronio, now let’s go on a nice, long honeymoon to Hogsmeade and then we can go back to pay off Professor Shylock and save Antonio from losing 5,000 house points.
Baronio: Ok!

((they have a nice honeymoon))

Shylock: Hey! I just found out that when Lancelet Draco left me, he took all my money as well! The great stupid prat! I think I’ll try to get my money back from Baronio early.
Antonio: Sorry, Baronio’s off on a honeymoon with Hermia.
Shylock: Then I’ll just go ahead and take 5 thousand points from Gryffindor!
Hermia (disguised as another student): You can’t take 5,000 points from Gryffindor for something that wasn’t Antonio’s fault! You’re such a jerk, you should be sacked.
((Shylock is fired))
Baronio: Wow! Thanks, mister! Can I do anything to repay you?
Hermia: Can I borrow your Herbology textbook?
Baronio: This old thing?
Hermia: Yeah! I got undiluted Bubotuber pus all over it and had to throw it away.
Baronio: Sorry, mister. It’s one of those symbolism thingies that I’m not supposed to give away.
Hermia: I think your wife would understand. She’d know that I deserve it for helping your buddy out like that. ((she leaves))
Baronio: He’s got a point there. Pig, take this Herbology textbook to that guy that just helped us!
((Pig does so))


Hermia: We’re back! Hey, Baronio, do you still have that Herbology textbook?
Baronio: Er…. I gave it to this guy that helped us save Gryffindor’s chances to win the house cup. I felt we owed it to him.
Hermia: You bloody git! That was the first thing I ever gave you! It was all symbolic and such!
Baronio: Geez, I’d be better off if I had told you it had been eaten by a hippogriff.
Hermia: ((pouts)) Well, in the meantime, use this one.
Baronio: Hey! This is the same one!
Hermia: Yup. You’re so oblivious. I can’t believe you fell for that!

((they all make up))

Lorenginny: Hey! I just found out that Shylock died O.D.ing on asphodel and wormwood, and he left everything to my new boyfriend, Lancelet Draco! Score!


Hey! While you’re here, why don’t you check out my all-new junk archive! Groovy stuff, yo. I’m so amused. Check out the read me file thingy for explanation.