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See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

Oh, Ron Howard. Don’t you know Andy Griffith and Happy Days aren’t the real America, and don’t represent small-town American values? Go peddle your radical left-wing terrorist claptrap somewhere else. McCAIN ’08!

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Last night, I dreamed that I was cast for the role of Winthrop (from the Music Man–an eight-year-old redhead boy with a lisp) for the Colbert Report, and I had to decide it it was worth quitting my job. To make the decision, I returned to my high school photography class, where I was delighted to see that my professor would have given me an A+ if I had actually turned in the final assignment, but had deducted 30%, bringing my score to a 75 (yes, I know that math doesn’t make sense).

Very witty: Font Conference

Very horrible: Doctor Horrible, back on HULU for another week! Also, visit this website to get the good bad anti-villainous doctor’s van remote on your iPhone!

Very athletic: the Hundred Push-Ups Project. I’m going to give it a shot!

Very animated: Princess and the Frog and Up teasers are here! EEEEE!!!

Very soulful: Neil Patrick Harris as a singing shoe fairy on Sesame Street (and I just had a flash of him playing Moist von Lipwig, even though he is unBritish. Y/Hell Y?)

Very evolved: Wolverine trailer!

Very hairy: Half-Blood Prince trailer! I have chills!

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This will only be funny to people who watched last week’s Middleman (Flying Fish Zombification) and have read Proven Guilty (8th Dresden book), which means… probably only one of you. Oh well. I’m entertained!

Cut scene from Proven Guilty:

Harry: So talk. How’d you wind up in jail?

Nelson: I’m not sure what actually happened. I was in the bathroom—

Harry: What bathroom? Where?

Nelson: At the convention.

Harry: Convention?

Molly: *points to her SplatterCon!!! button* It’s a horror movie convention.

Harry: SplatterCon? Never heard of it.

Molly: No, SplatterCon (*jazzhands*).

Harry: That’s what I said.

Molly: Yeah, but you didn’t do the (*jazzhands*). SplatterCon (*jazzhands*) is spelled with three exclamation points on the end. It’s pronounced “SplatterCon (*jazzhands*).”

Harry: *stares. a long, long time.* You trick me into coming bail your boyfriend out under false pretenses, interrupting some very important work that could very well save my bacon in the next few days, and you expect me to do (*sarcastic jazzhands*) every time I say the name of some ridiculous convention?

Molly: *silent yeep*

Harry: [to Nelson] Okay, what happened in the bathroom?

For everyone else, here’s Zac Effron inadvertently dancing to the “Gaston” song. Renata needs to see it RIGHT NOW.

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Chad linked me to this excellent Daily Kos article comparing the Senate records of Hillary and Obama. Long, but well worth the read! I Refuse to Buy into the Obama Hype (now a supporter). The author summarizes her article thusly:

I looked up Obama and looked up Clinton [on the Library of Congress Website]. I looked at the bills that they both authored and introduced. Anyone who has been around politics, and is honest, realizes that there are a lot of reasons why a Senator votes one way or another on bills or misses votes. However an examination of the bills that each of these Senators cared enough about to author and introduce revealed much to me: what they care about, what their priorities are, how they tackle problems. And the list of co-sponsors showed something about how they lead, inspire and work with others. Finally, looking at which bills actually passed is pretty indicative of how effective each would be at getting things done.

Or if you have no interest in American politics, you can check out this highly amusing Frye and Laurie sketch. Those that did read the above article are invited to view it as well.