Renata sorted through her mailbox. I think I’ll do the same. Oh look! Nearly 800 emails saved from RML! ::filters through:: Here’s half:
My best specimen of writing ever:
Renata felt her stomach turn sickeningly, like a sentient undercooked pancake stuck inside a leaky plastic ball in the middle of a hurricane. She felt the overwhelming burden of control fall heavily onto her shoulders, like an elephant dropped from a tall building onto a homing pigeon. She felt her throat constrict, but that wasn’t actually nervousness, it was phlegm. — From the RML fic (anyone mind if I post a link to the full text? or would bad things happen?)
More haiku:
Elmo:
I mean like, popcorn
It reminds me of movies
Um… do you get it?
Tiffany:
She was not, you know.
Stuttering is not her most
Preferred way of speech.
Elmo:
I’m so dyslexic
each time I try to type “dog”
I type “god” instead
Other Quotes:
Elmo: HI! I’m Elmo! I’m gay and cute!
Keith: Elmo, you aren’t a character in a bad NBC sitcom, you can have a hobby other then being gay.
Kait: I had never really thought about the corrolation between the size of Roger’s attention span and the shinyness of Mimi’s pants, but suddenly it’s all starting to make sense…. Note to self: Get Mark some shiny clothes for next m/r fic…
Renata: *mind boggles* My GOD! You’re right!
Megan: “mark sauntered into the room, in his new silver holographic vinyl jumpsuit, with, of course, his trusty scarf wrapped around his neck”
Taze (a briefly-lived newbie): I’ve never seen Rent, per se, but I’ve sang parts of it. For Mort. You really, really don’t want to know. (Dressing up as Death and singing “Without You” was the one of the sanest experiences of my life. Oddly calming.).
Elmo: Once again, the “purple, because ice cream has no bones” theory comes into play.
Elmo: “Guuuuys and dolls! We’re just a bunch of crazy guuuuys and dolls!” “That’s not even a real song!”
Liz: ::Puts on nosy Spanish-teacher hat:: Vat ees theees? Vat ees thees “Deescwurrld?”
Renata: *hisses at Keith* Dont’ SCARE us like that! And DON’T quit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Look how many exclamation points had to die for that! LOOOOOOK!!!!!!!!!
Renata: *pats Chelle’s head* Take Alex to Atlantis! It’s good, confusing, Disney fun! And there’s a character from a Turkish prison!
Chelle: I actually wanted to see that movie but Alex doesnt want to see it.
Priscilla: Tie him up in his sleep, throw him in the car, and drag him to a movie theatre. Threaten to take away all his toys and TV and computer privelidges. Ask him again if he wants to see Atlantis. (I’ll make a really good mother)
Keith: Or a good mob boss.
Kait: I could see Elmo doing that, tactlessly of course. “Can I take your picture?” “Um…what?” “Please. For a friend?” ‘Okay.” “No, you have to take your shirt off first!” “….are you gonna buy something or…?”
Ayano: And my god, I just used one of those XP smiley faces. I HATE those things. They remind me of Charles Manson, digitized.
Renata: Oooh, I just love gossip about people I’ve never met! Wow! We as a list demand more details!
Inna: ::sigh:: I can never tell when you’re being sarastic
Elmo: Dude, Renata! You know that one guy at school, with brown hair? Yeah, he and that one blonde chick BROKE UP!! I forget their names, but I’m sure YOU know
Keith: Damn our society.
Elmo: It appealed to me *before,* and now it doesn’t! Jeez… I mean, uh… breasts rule, yeah
Priscilla: That’s why we love you, Elmo.
Keith: I’m confused about why the sky is dark at night, and my delete key is slippery with butter.
Keith: *Proud look* Wait, toastlike?
Renata: Yeah.. see.. “Jake is cute as toast and twice as crunchy”, therefore toastlike means cute. It’s a good thing :)
Priscilla: I imagined Chelle as just an older version of Megan. ::snickers:: And Keith’s forehead scar is *very* Harry Potter. You have my bodily damage seal of approval.
Priscilla: Renata’s hair is so skippy that I could just die, right here and now. But I won’t.
Renata: So, I gashed my finger pretty badly last night while slicing an apple, but it seems to be healing quite nicely. I wish it weren’t, I wanted it to leave a cool scar so I could tell people I got it in a knife fight. With pirates!
Keith: You have AOL? Oh no. I may love you but I’m going to have to kill you out of mercy.
Priscilla: I feel strangely enlightened… oh wait. No I don’t.
Ayano: I’m kind of awed, in a frightened, frankenstein-is-no-longer-in-my-control way.
Keith: I want to have Ayano’s baby.
Renata: Aw, welcome to my life! Listen to some bitter music– I recommend Tori, Ani, and Rachael– and become spiteful towards those you dislike. It’s heathier.
Keith: We like to beat dead horses until we are sure they’re dead, skin them, light them on fire, burry the ashes, wait for a plant to grow in that spot, hack it into many pieces, and burn that as well. Bad habit.
Kait: ::attaches herself to Megan’s leg:: I’m at your service, oh, future listqueen!
Priscilla: ::clears throat loudly and taps foot angrily:: AHEM! (future list queen before Megan was even BORN!)
Renata: Actually, Megan’s older than you… but.. it’s ok because I’M NOT DEAD YET!
Priscilla: ::blinks:: I was secondary list queen as a fetus.
Keith: Apple is so good. I hoarded them, and ate them all at once, and I lost consciousness.
Laura: *blinks* Keith…somestimes I wonder about you. So where do oyu get this stuff?
Keith: A twisted imagination, a not-so-well used confidence, boredom, and the passion to make people rise one eyebrow, look at me like I just told them I was George Washington, and say “Huh?”.
Priscilla: I actually raised *both* eyebrows. Be honored.
Keith: My life is worth something!
Renata: Hee, I invented a month.. Juny… (I meant July, obviously) Like Smarch and Octember!
Priscilla: ::whimpers:: Hitchhiker slash? ::is scared:: That’s like… Invader Zim slash.
[LATER]
Priscilla: ::whimpers more:: Who the heck would they slash? Ford/Arthur? Zaphod/Marvin? Trillian/Eccentrica Galumbitus? Hitchhiker’s Guide is just… unslashable. It worries me.
Keith: Do you think I’ll have trouble finding a wife if after death I want to have my favorite earthly possessions, my unconscious wife, and my lifeless body put on a Viking ship and sent out to sea, and then lit on fire?
Tiff: Ew, do you know how disgusting drowning in cold blood would be? And when they pulled you out, you’d be covered in hemoglobin.
Renata: Alison is damn skippy. *nods*
Laura: ok. *adds one and one together* now. All these newbies! Where did she come from?
Renata: Well, you see, when a man and a woman love each other very much…
Renata: Hey… where the hell did my Peppermint peppermint go? I was saving it because it was so cool…and it was sitting RIGHT HERE next to Slippery Soap from Blues Clues and now it’s GONE!! Well, color me bitter…
Renata: I’ll ride YOUR ferris wheel! …. that sounds really dirty, doesn’t it?
Chelle: I dont want the title unless it comes with a tiara…*stomps*
Elmo: Look here, Mr. Anime Pants…
Meanwhile, today is the eleventy-first birthday of Professor Tolkien. Join fans all over the world in a toast.
