Day 1: Rescued abandoned dragon, frolicking in autumn mists of Honalee Yard. Poor thing, looks like all it's had to eat has been bits of string and sealing wax. Suffering from bad case of scale rot. If I ever find owner, will definitely give him piece of my mind.

Day 2: V. busy with preparations for wedding. Sam no help. Slightly worried. Remains mired in internal dialogue sequences more than usual.

Day 3: Chubby missing, later found murdered. Don't understand why Sam insists on pursuing matter of some silly theft at Assassins' Guild instead of mystery of dragon slaying. Where are his priorities?

Day 4: Tried to introduce Sam into Ankh-Morpork high society. Generally ineffective. Went off with Carrot halfway through 17th course. Fear Lord Monflathers may be making indecent advances towards me. Ah, well, Sam will kill him if he tries anything.

Day 5: Disappointed in Sam. Skipped another dinner party. Don't care if he was being shot at by an unknown, vicious, murdering fiend using a deadly, one-of-a-kind superweapon, bent on ending his life. Still no excuse for tardiness.

Day 6: Night Watch stood down for the night. Intrigued by Sam's ability to infuriate everyone with so little effort. Unfortunately, resulted in Sam getting dead drunk. Concluded one-person bachelor parties generally ineffective.

Day 7: Married! Thankfully, Willikins had the foresight to bring extra suit for Samuel, just in case. Looking forward to his retirement. Tattered, bloodstained uniforms wreaking havoc on dry-cleaning bills.

Day 8: Sam back in the watch. Now Commander. Spent several hours assuring him I thought "Commander" was just as dashing a title as "Captain". Anyway, Sam also now a knight. Looking forward to rubbing this in Lady Selachii's face at next Obscenely Wealthy and Powerful Women of Ankh-Morpork Anonymous meeting. Go me!