The Cult of Lincoln

Thursday, February 19, 2004



Over Math last night, Tricia and I discussed the advantages of being hobbit women.
  1. They have hairy feet and this is normal, so they probably aren't expected to shave their legs.
  2. Huge feet are normal, and we wouldn't have to worry about finding big enough shoes because they don't wear shoes.
  3. At least in the movie, they aren't incredibly beautiful on the most part, so we wouldn't feel inadequate in comparison to other hobbit women. And most hobbits don't get much interaction with the elves, so they won't know what they're missing, ha!
  4. Nifty curly hair without apparent effort!
  5. Hobbit women are generally taller than hobbit men, so we tall girls wouldn't have to worry about being taller than our hobbit boyfriends.
  6. They aren't expected to be stick-thin.
  7. Dude, who wouldn't want to live in the Shire? Well, maybe the Shire with internet access.
  8. Hobbit kids are the cutest things since sliced bread.
  9. Everyone is constantly bursting into song!
  10. Tookland accents? Hold me back.
Of course, there are disadvantages, like the fact that everyone and their dog smokes, but oh well. We hobbit women can band together and lobby an anti-smoking law in all public buildings and restaurants. And there's a lot of drinking, but it doesn't look like there's any drunken abuse, and if it leads to Merry and Pippin singing and dancing on tables, I'm all for it. So yay hobbits!

Priscilla said at 11:54 AM

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All content © 2000-2005 Priscilla Spencer unless otherwise noted.
Title cartoon by Bruce Eric Kaplan, used without permission.

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