Hey, I thought I threw this away! Yay!

As printed in "Maine-E-Yak", the newsletter from my old camp. All formatting untouched.

Dear Dr. Woody: I love Valentines Day, but I have no idea how this wonderful holiday came about, signed Wondering
Dear Wonderer: There are many misconceptions about the origins of Valentines Day and I'm glad for the opportunity to set the record straight. About 1500 years ago in Budapest, Hungary, the Baroness Ophelia Valentine was courted and pursued by a young and handsome Count from Romania. The Count desperately wanted to win the heart of the Baroness Valentine so he brought her all manners of gifts. And, though she enjoyed the gifts, her heart would warm for only a short time and again grow cold. Year after year the Count brought her lavish gifts which were received, enjoyed, but soon discarded. Until one day, in an act of utter frustration, the young Count ripped out his own beating heart and handed it to the Baroness, proclaiming "There! Now are you satisfied!" The Baroness was then pleased and very much satisfied, but immediately asked the young Count what he was going to bring her next year. The young Count Dracula of Romania was driven to insanity, and as legend has it, though heartless, refused to die, and instead took to roaming the countryside in search of fresh human hearts with which he could forever please his Baroness. Valentines Day was originally a day to honor the strength and dedication of Dracula's love. Unfortunately, Dracula's search for human flesh was misinterpreted by the local population and while they kept the holiday of love, they buried the true story behind the Valentines Day celebration... Happy Valentines Day!!!!