Coming home from lunch, I was struck by a very strange notion. My two most schnoogleworthy favourite male fictional characters are remarkably similar. I submit for your approval, Carrot<\/b> and Kurt<\/b>.<\/p>\n
First, their names are one syllable apart.<\/p>\n
Second, they both grew up speaking very gutteral languages.<\/p>\n
Carrot: Looks innocent, but is actually quite pervy and shrewd.
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Kurt: Looks innocent, but is quite the Cassanova in the comics.<\/p>\n
Carrot: Looks shorter than he actually is due to perpetual stoop.
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Kurt: Looks shorter than he actually is due to perpetual stoop.<\/p>\n
Carrot: Has a quasi-girlfriend with ash-blond hair.
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Kurt: Flirts shamelessly with a girl with white-blond hair.<\/p>\n
Carrot: Posesses distinctive crown-shaped birthmark.
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Kurt: Posesses distinctive angelic symbol scars.<\/p>\n
Carrot: Can run so fast he blurs.
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Kurt: Can teleport.<\/p>\n
Carrot: Is quite buff from growing up as a dwarf in a mine.
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Kurt: Is quite buff from growing up as an acrobat in a circus.<\/p>\n
Carrot: Occasionally saves Ankh-Morpork with his friends, a band of plucky Watchmen.
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Kurt: Occasionally saves the world with his friends, a band of plucky X-Men.
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(And their cigar-smoking acquaintances would kill anyone that called them “plucky.”)<\/p>\n
And there you have it. Now I’m going to go off and eat my salad and half-sandwich and jump at small noises.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Coming home from lunch, I was struck by a very strange notion. My two most schnoogleworthy favourite male fictional characters are remarkably similar. I submit for your approval, Carrot and Kurt. First, their names are one syllable apart. Second, they both grew up speaking very gutteral languages. Carrot: Looks innocent, but is actually quite pervy … <\/p>\n