Billy: We disappear in the film for fifty minutes.
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Dom: And that is probably some of the darkest piece of cinema, that you’ll see in those 50 minutes.
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Billy: I think it’s actually a storytelling device. That it makes people get sadder and sadder.
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Dom: Just long for Pippin and Merry.
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Billy: Yeah, they’re thinking, “I’m missing something here. I don’t know what I’m missing.”
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Dom: “There’s a piece of my life, a shard of my heart, has been torn out.”
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Billy: “I don’t know what it is!”
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Dom: “I don’t understand what it is.”
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Billy: And then, there’s the two little buggers up a tree!
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Dom: Ah!
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Billy: Ahh, that’s better, eh?
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Dom: Like a new sunrise!
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Billy: Ah, it’s beautiful. Like someone’s just given you a cake.
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Dom: Yeah. Or candyfloss. Or cotton candy, as you might say in America.
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Billy: Mmm, cotton candy. Or a big bag of popcorn!
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Dom: Or pumpernickel!
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Billy: Ahh, pumpernickel. Rocky road.
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Dom: Baby Ruths. You just get sudden chocolate bars then.
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Billy: Mmm.
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Dom: I look like my brother there.
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Billy: Yeah.<\/p>\n
Dom: I think maybe “The Two Towers” should have been called “The Adventures of Merry and Pippin.”
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Billy: We shall rename it. Because I think we spoke about… I lost my train of thought. Say something for a minute.
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Dom: I really like eggs in the morning. And bacon at night. Is that wrong?
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Billy: No! Carry on, carry on!
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Dom: When I was seven, I used to eat ants.
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Billy: Got it! We were talking about… em… lost again.
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(They laugh)
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Billy: It’s quite incredible, isn’t it?
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Dom: It was probably a lie, Billy.<\/p>\n
*SO MUCH LOVE* <\/p>\n
And I love how they provide commentary on each of the actors as the credits roll. It’s so MST3K!
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Dom: Viggo Mortensen!
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Billy: Mad as a fish.
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Dom: Smells a little bit.<\/p>\n
So much better than the Elijah\/Sean\/Andy commentary, which has a lot of bickering and talking over one another, and the Orlando Bloom, which is essentially just fanboying of his fellow actors. OR1337!!1! (Though John Rhys-Davies and Christopher Lee and Sir Ian rock my socks.) <\/p>\n
Yeah, Dom and Billy. *happysigh* Stream of consciousness. So hilarious. And if you find someone in the world with a cuter accent than Billy, I will eat my laptop. (Yes, I still love you, Alan Cumming. But Billy never did “Spy Kids” or “The Mask II.” Shame, Alan. Shame.)<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, today’s Bad and Wrong Yet Absolutely Hilarious award goes to PointlessWasteofTime.com for these<\/a> two<\/a> articles. Please don’t visit these links, Mom and Dad. (I need to set up a “No Children Named Emmy” system like Sam. That would be helpful.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Billy: We disappear in the film for fifty minutes. Dom: And that is probably some of the darkest piece of cinema, that you’ll see in those 50 minutes. Billy: I think it’s actually a storytelling device. That it makes people get sadder and sadder. Dom: Just long for Pippin and Merry. Billy: Yeah, they’re thinking, … <\/p>\n