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Me: Oh god no... I really don't think that it's plagiarism. I mean, anyone with half a brain and an internet connection can look all that stuff up! I'm just a spiteful, embittered, jealous person. ::runs away::
Yeah? Well I'm only in Spanish I and I can conjugate faster than you can say "whack a mole!" ... okay, fine then, I can "estoy" with the best of them..
What makes supermodels so super, anyways? All they do is walk around in nice clothes. Hell, a hanger does half that job.
Always fun to dream about abusing power before you even have it...
Where do you live, again? I want to kidna-... meet you!
Oh, and even the scanmachine hates gay people :) we were s'posed to vote for two people to be Homecoming king/queen and I wanted to vote for two girls or two guys....but then I realized the machine wouldn't take my entry because the machine that scans the entries wouldn't take two x's in the same column. Stupid homophobic machine.
yea...curtis. do you realize curtis is spelled kinda like christ, except for the fact that curtis has a U in it and there isn't an H and and the letters are in the wrong order? that proves curtis is a God.
Grrrr. People like her should move to the north pole where it's cold and there are no friendly penguins
I think Johnny Depp is hot in Edward Scissorhands. And ESPECIALLY in Sleepy Hollow. There's nothing Ichy about his Bod in that movie. Get it? Ichabod? ::crickets chirp:: Right...
Love thy neighbor, even when he plays the trombone.
I'm jealous :( Is it just me or does he look really evil? Like "Raaaaaar, as soon as this picture is over I will strangle all the teenyboppers, for I AM EGOZILLA! MUAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!" ... okay I bet it's just me.
Liz: i went to a party for a friend of mine. i only knew 2 of the girls, and i realized just how dorky we all are. first, we blasted rent and danced on the coffeetable and things like that. then i went toget chips and i come back and they have put on STAR WARS and are all reenacting the lightssaber scene, then they grab LION KING (movie, mind you) and pretend to be that evil lion...whats his name? then we open presents and it consists of about 12 anime things, and a Klingon translation of Hamlet and a handbook on...some star trek characters.
Yay, we still have Living Liz ^_^ You do realize, if you kill yourself, I need to fly to Texas and do various voodoo spells to reincarnate you into a flesh eating zombie, right?
Elmo: You sound like me. ^_^
Am I the only person on this list who gets along with their mom? I love my mom. I told her I was bi and she said "Greedy little b****! Aren't satisfied with guys!? You always yell about how you hate people, and now you have to deal with dating MORE of them! Want some ice cream?"
I always wondered if Smurfette was like, the village whore.
My friend gave a spanish presentation and said her father was a potato and she was raised by dogs.
well, jeff is our typical drunken male, sending typical drunken mail.
Woah... French for "flammable" is "inflammable." That could get confusing.
Susan: Kercheifs?! I *LOVE* kerchiefs! I have a purple one and a blue one with flowers and I'm wearing the purple one right now and it's super spiffy!
Renata: But the penguins are smart, they have their own continent. Except the one that follows Billy Madison around. We watched that today on the way to Chicago to see Two Gentlemen of Verona, it was amusing.
Keith: Yeah, when you get enough points, I start stalking you. Renata and Susan are leading.
speaking of god, i asked my religion teacher if i could write a chapter and put it into a newer testament. she wasn't too pleased.
Inna: What exactly *is* mono?
Me: People say my personality reminds them of the nerd chick in Never Been Kissed. I'm not sure if this is a compliment or an insult.
Did you know people write Chicken Run fanfic? People nowadays scare me.
Liz: no, i need somethig to write...or else i wont know and u wont get ur handwriting sample.
Madders: What the hell ass is a PLAM?
Renata: You didn't know what an OTM was. For shame, virgin boi ;)
Renata: Hurrah! BTW, if anyone cares I found my calculators. They were in my bookbag. I'm an idiot.
Keith: I mean the actual word not the perverted meaning you strange happy collection of twigs.
Jeff: Hey, someone who knows Japanese, I know _____ no miko means "priestess of _____", what is priest of, if there's a word for it?
Airika: I was thinking...do plaid pants, fuzzy bras and cute little Mark scarfs match?
Keith: Here's an excite poll.
I prefer a large derriere, and that is no misconception. When a member of the gentle sex swanders in with a miniscule midsection and a sperical object in your personal area, you will get an erection.
Keith: I think we should have a king and a queen. That way I could be a jester. Every good country needs a jester.
Every man wants to be feared by all men and loved by many women. In short, he wants to be a lesbian.
Renata: Oh, oh, so now Mark is more important than me? Jeez, no wonder this relationship is going nowhere... *sobs*
Ellie: Ooh! Elmo's voice is so cute! ::plays message 15 more times:: He gets a negative cookie! And I blame Renata for not letting me meet him when I was in IL. Meanie head.
Jeff: Ok in 2008 (when lots of us can vote) let's all put "Renata" in the write-in section for President!
Kait: You are all evil and must be brainwashed like the rest of us. Repeat after me: "Harry Potter is Good. Harry Potter is Good. Harry Potter will make you smarter. Harry Potter will make you more popular. Harry Potter will make you wealthy. Harry Potter will make you more attractive. Harry Potter will win you friends...."
Elmo, RML is for things like discussing the price of emu in Switzerland. It is NOT a place for discussing sex fetishes :)
Ellie: Do you mind putting your reply at the top of the email? It's just typical RML format. And thank you for remembering to cut and paste! You're such a well-trained newbie!
Madders: I'd lick MOTOR OIL off of Mark.
Speaking of fanfic.. or... whatever.. I was just reading an X-Men fanfic, and one character told Wolverine ""No, Logan. No questions now. No past... No future... Simply now. Here. This moment. Don't think of what happened, or what will happen. Simply be. Close your eyes..." I was really hoping she'd like burst into song or something, I don't know.. I wonder if the author is a Renthead...
Madders: I would chop off my right arm for Mark...especially Anthony Rapp Mark...Oh lord...::swoons::
Renata: You know, out of all the people that have ever been on this list, you annoy me the most.
Me: HP slash? Scary stuff, yo. I accidently saw a Percy/Oliver Wood fic. I had to clean my computer out with soap. I still haven't recovered from the trauma.
You know you're an RMLer when an email comes up with a guy saying he's an undead creature of the night and you think it's normal...
I look like an egg. And trina and elizabeth need to stop trying to eat my head on toast.
NO! She lies, the heathen LIES! I LOVE you Renata, with every one of my straight molecules!
Innaish: I talked to X today!
ooo! renata! i have underwear with the same print as ur website background!
Leena: They make [suicide] illegal cause otherwise people would go around killing themselfs all the time....and THEN where would we be??
I don't think I'm going to have kids. I'm going to get to be this ancient crazy old lady that sits in a large, wooden rocking chair and laughs at her stupid nieces and nephews, petting a large tabby cat on my lap. I'll tell them all sorts of stories that I made up about my sister and all the awards I accomplished. I was the first black woman on the moon!, I'll tell them. The first Jewish president! I was best friends with John F. Kennedy, who REALLY discovered pennicillin, and tell them I had a pet dinosaur named Igor. And on Christmas, I'll sneak downstairs and put a few pieces of coal in their stockings, paying back my evil sister and dad who did that to me when I was 8. I cried for ages, until my dad apologized and said he was only joking. That'll show 'em.
my problem is finding someone to get married to first. although marriage is stuffy. so i'd just like a steady catfriend... *slaps self* i mean jacobbrentfriend... *doubleslap* i mean BOYFRIEND, dammit! *whew*
Renata: I refuse to live with any of the RML'ers, that would be creepy. Oh, except Ellie, I suppose when we CONQUER THE WORLD we'll share a palace or something.
Inna: When I was four I didn't know them...but I also hate, now, those *evil* Laura Ingles Wilder...Little House in the prarie or whateve rbooks. I like....cheese!
Inna: I want kids. Then I'll have an excuse to read HP over and over. When I do it now it's like I'm a freak, but if I read it to them I'd be all motherly and crap. I also want lots of little X's...ack...I did *not* just say that aloud.
Matchbox20 is good. You should listen to them all the time. Paul is (a) God. Paul will rule the world some day. That makes "Stop" a very cool song, because Paul helped write it. He also discovered electricity, and invented the cotten gin, won the American Revolution (which wasn't really a revolution), walked on the moon, starred in the Matrix, won 14 Olympic Gold Medals and killed Hitler. But he doens't like to brag about those things, so he attributes them to other people instead.
Me: HP slash? Scary stuff, yo. I accidently saw a Percy/Oliver Wood fic. I had to clean my computer out with soap. I still haven't recovered from the trauma.
Elmo: I want to see an Oliver/Cedric fic ::evil grin::
Bri: bleh. Cedric/Percy, now THAT would be interesting...
Inna: Umm...er...Bri?...Elmo?...you are aware that Cedric is dead....right? That would be necrophilia, or however that's spelled.
Danna: I keep on hearing about Inna's birthday.
Then people get all mad when I think shooting animals for sport (food is ok, i just think it's unnecessary when you have lots of frozen, slaughtered chicken at Meijers) and they're like, "It's not like we're shooting PEOPLE!" and I always say that hunting would be ok if we COULD shoot people.
Kitty was a cold bitch. Bri is an understanding bitch. There is a large difference (if you look at it through a microscope...)
Hunting is weird. It can't be healthy to run about shooting fuzzy woodland creatures in your spare time.
Renata: Yeah, when I met Ellie I kept having to restrain from calling her Ellie...
Me: Anyone else disturbed that Storm's eyebrows don't match her hair?
Danna: Well yeah, cause he is sposed to be in alaska or domething and she is prolly going to be of having relations with 3 different guys...
And then they dissect pregnant cats, too! What's the point of that? Are we ever going to go to a woman and say, "Hey, let's chop ya open and see if the baby has whiskers and fur."
Elmo: Ya know what bugs me? I've been getting people bitching at me on why it's wrong to be vegetarian (FOUR people today!!), yet not one has condemned me for being a queen... hm...
We're a "99% of our graduates go on to college so don't mess up the average, dammit!" kinda place.
Elmo: Christ, fish is NOT meat... And I wasn't TALKING about you!! Plus, eggs will NEVER become baby chickens, the eggs are UNFERTILIZED!! So it's NOT like eating a baby...
Elmo: Fish is meat!? WAAAAA!! Now I must not eat fish either...
I don't like clones, it's just... wrong. It's not right to play god or whoever is there. But it is okay to make clones and kill them. Like a sort of anti clone campaign. I'd join.
Tiffany: In 9th grade they made us dissect fetal pigs... (if you make fun of this next part I'll smack you til the cows start to low) I couldn't dissect them, so I went out into the hall to look at pictures of what gets done, and I couldn't handle that either, so I got exempt from that part for all three days we did that and just had to read an article on what parts function for what purposes, with few illustrations, and those were drawn diagrams, not actual stuff, so that I could pass the test.
I STILL think it would be funny if butterflies started using railroad spikes to pin people to trees and start a Human Collection...
I used to go trick or treating, until people started wondering why a 6'3" individual was standing on their front porch begging for candy.
I get one email in like, 7 hours and it's about shoes. I know you're in school and all but, come on! Yeesh.
Pretty please? with cheap sugar substitute on top?
Don't they say frog tastes like chicken? Reasoning: Jar Jar looks like frog. Frog tastes like chicken. Thus, Jar Jar tastes like chicken. Mmmm. "You've got roasted Jar Jar, Jar Jar gumbo, Jar Jar scampy..."-Bubba from Forrest Gump.
Aw, that's so cute. A well-wishing little vermin.. aww...
Yeah! If you wanna hurt someone's feelings, find out something embarrassing about them and use it and/or stretch it out into more insults. If that doesn't work, use cuss words. And if all else fails, don't panic, injure the person. Of course you don't want to injure a bigger and stronger person, in that case, run. If you can't run, try to think of something pleasant as you are beaten down. Thank you all for your time.
I know. I'm just paranoid. Wait! What are you doing with that pencil? You're going to kill me, aren't you? Oh, don't try to deny it, you scum! Here, face the wrath of my evil charm bracelet! AAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! Oh, don't whimper, you coward. You're just trying to get my sympathy, leaving me open to guilt trips and such. Well, you won't get it, you demonic devilish dolt! Lock the door on your way out.
Whoah, on an ego trip, be right back.
I just realized how typical of US this conversation is... "My middle name is William".. "I watched Frisbee golf yesterday".. and he didn't even try to make any logical connection between the two.. okay.
Renata: Jack Frost.. isn't that the movie with the guy who dies and comes back as a snowman?? Oy vey Keithy.. *I* rented Hair and Land Before Time V this weekend. But I only got around to watching Hair.. a pity.
"I'm flying, Jack!"
Keith: I didn't know 9 year olds swore. My sister is 11 and when she says "crap" I beat her with a flounder....
I'm lurking. Mwahahahahahahahahaha.
BWahahaha! 100% of all non-smokers die!
"Y2K! Y2K! ARMAGEDDON'S HERE! THE COMPUTERS'RE ALL SET TO BLOW AND THE BLOOD WILL FLOW LIKE BEER!"
Stephen: I've read bitch more times tonight than I have all month. Where's that Christmas spit, err, spirit?
As you have AOL, you must cut and paste or we will send toaster demons to your doorway.
That was funny. I almost spit pricey bottled water all over my monitor.
Jordan: Movin' on, can I help make The Secondary Home of Renata's Miscellaneous List? Aw, come on? I won't be [too] possesive about it. I'll just move it to a better server and give it a MAJOR facelift. Please?
And...um....gee, this gum is minty!
Is a bytch like a virtual bitch?
Morph Boy: Uhm... hi, who are you? Are you from tooth fairy land???
Sorry. My past self has problems catching up with my future self, which explodes at random into reality.
Ummmmmmm, that's not nice. I spent six years in the Navy learning how to cuss and the most important thing is not to cuss all the time, but save it up for when you really need to make a statement.
I wanted to be one of the first to say merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! And also, and a token of my good will, I present to you this gift: a picture of a spike I have that's from a sunken 1812 ship with a coral growing on it that's over 100 years old.
*wrinkles nose* Make sure that the seats of the Nutmobile are padded with velvet cushions. I want to ride to the looney bin in style.
I think I put to much jelly on my toast! WOOOHOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
i demand her to come back, and while i'm demanding, i want 10 dollars.
I have the Rainbow 6 video game. *blink* ::::chrickets chirp::: *blink* :::chrickets get pissed cause MiniSean can't spell chrickets:::
The source of all evil on the list? That's not you! That's cheesecake. Beneath that moist cream cheezy exterior lies...well, more cream cheese......and a cream cheese heart of pure evil! Mwahaha!
If there is another WWII, it'll be because someone forgot how to count.
When was I cruel to dolphins? I don't remember ever telling you about the last time I went out and clubbed a dolphin at the zoo... I mean.... I like cheese.
If you're offended by this e-mail, than take a pan and back it over your head over and over till you forget you read it. Wallah.
Yeah, they were real chipmunks! And she got them to sing RENT! In front of an audience! With people who laughed like turkeys!
i wish i was a superhero. then i could make stupid puns and everyone would laugh.
i love how the fire boy is so stereotypically american. all the others are like "save the planet!" and he's trying to hook it up with the wind chick. he's the "funny one" (all superhero groups are legally required to have one) and he likes to tell stupid jokes.
Elmo: Well, no offense, Inna, but something that might scar *you* may be perfectly normal to any of us.
He sings "Slim Shady" and then, for variety, "The REAL Slim Shady".
Oh, you mean Ben Kenobi didn't just temporarily leave his clothes so Darth Vader could dry clean them? Silly me!
This is scary. You just pulled a human skull out of your backseat and I'm not at all surprised.
Gambit rocked! And Storm is just the coolest, except for her chest size (referring to the TV show) ... didn't those things weigh her down or something? How could she *fly* with them? Is THAT a superpower? It should be...
Um, if I could, I would prefer dating older guys... Everyone is so smeggin' immature... In the bad way, not like RML
Hey, I know, we can settle our differences by throwing blunt objects!
No, white is the absence of color. Black is all the colors combined, like how all the Planeteers combine to make Captain Planet. I watched Captain Planet today. I always feel sorry for the "Heart" kid. All the other kids get neat powers, and he can talk to monkeys. Yeah. And Captain Planet's pretty hot, I mean, if his skin wasn't blue. The green hair works, but the blue skin is so unhealthy. I think Captain Planet should hook it up with Gaea. Okay, I just woke up 2 hours ago, so if I just said something weird, just chalk it up to that...
MiniSean: Ok, relate eminem (the rapper) to Harry Potter.
Liz: You know Pocohantas was really like 15 and he was 30ish when they met? But, being Disney, they HAD to turn it into a friggin romance with a talking tree.
my subject means "My dog is a drag queen." Or literally "my dog is the ruler of the friction". Stupid babelfish.
I gave up being subtle on this list, nobody catches it, except Ellie. Which is why everyone thinks we're nuts. Well, that and the fact that we *are*...
I dunno, somehow "Peanuts" is part of American society. Don't ask me why.... I think it's cause it embodies the American spirit, aka "we're losers and we're PROUD OF IT!"
Katie: For namezero, do you HAVE to put accurate information down? like your real phone number and name and stuff?
See Bri and Kait. See Mark. See Bri and Kate looking at Mark. See Bri and Kait drool. Drool, Bri and Kait, drool. See Bri and Kait swoon madly... See Mark run from rabid fans! Run, Mark-*Bri & Kait silence the narrator.* STAY, MARK, STAY! See Mark run faster...
My theory is people like me because you get all the fun of a 5 year old, but I'm potty trained
If you don't like my driving, stay off the sidewalk!
I remember trying to convince this mormon girl that "Contact" wasn't necessarily about sex. "See, sweat. Like a coke can sweat. And it's sweet sweat. And it was good for me. was it good for you?" She didn't believe me.
Reeeeennnnaaaataaaaa, can I steal your site layout yet? A yes or a ::whackslap:: "no, damnit!" will do fine....
What are tomatoes? My science teacher says that scientists don't even use the word 'fruit' and 'vegetable,' just 'plant.' For some reason, I don't believe him. I think it's all a coverup. A rotten government conspiracy. Now this poses the question: Why does the government always conspire against *me?* Is there some hidden truth about tomatoes? Their origins? Their purpose? But
still the question of their existence bothers me. They are a paradox in themselves, both fruit and vegetable at the same time. A person being a paradox usually drives them to insanity, however, for millenia, tomatoes seem to cope. How? And still, if we dig deeper, where did they come from? Are they a fruit/vegetable crossover? Or are they one or the other? Maybe neither... I leave you with this to ponder.
Mwahahaha, I shall add that to my list of things to do... right between "Change bandage on toe" and "Conquer the rest of South America".
Sorry. I only mention very few people, but it's not really the best song to manipulate. Hope ya like it. The rhyming is a little fuzzy, but oh well. No one cares. Except for this little container of lip balm. It cares. You'd be surprised about how kind it is. I need sleep.
My real people name, David, means beloved. I have yet to find out what Darth Nibenay, etc... means. I think it means, "Help! I need mental help!"
I think that a sign that you're spending too much time on this list is when you look at your inbox and it has 150 new messages and you're like, "Hmm, i wonder where everyone is?"
No he's *not!* Angel is not better than Angel! Angel is better than Angel and we all know it. Hee hee... This'll confuse the hell outta' any newbies...
You sound pleasantly insane. Welcome to the list!
I am from the 80's. And he is from the 90's. (I refuse to count 89 as the 80's, because, it was bad.) And remember, it's MY generation, and I can exclude people from it at will.
i think that i could
yeh, but ferrets cant be made into coats. although i have never heard of a weasel coat either. So I guess only minks can be made into coats. How big are those things?
Haha.. Fear the wrath of... Damn, I just realized I have no wrath...
Keith: Why do the commercials act like Uncle Ben's rice is sexy?
At least you weren't named Priscilla... Well, actually I'm starting to like the name, but it's more like one of those old ladies playing bridge and knitting ugly sweaters for their teenage grandsons while listening to James Dean and the Big Bopper on the radio names. Like Myrtle. And Mildred. My grandmother was named Mildred...
Susan: the toads are stalking me online!
Kitty: I have one blue eye, one green eye, and my right eye drifts to the side. And my vision is horrible. If it gets 50 worse I'll be legally blind. And I'd get all the good parking spaces if I was allowed to drive....God, I'm sad, I'm actually looking forward to loosing my vision...
The old ones are the quintessential show of my generation. (Yes. It's mine now. I'm not sharing.)
I want to go to Northwestern!! Or Harvard or Yale or somewhere. Maybe Oxford. I'd go to school where the great Fox Mulder went! And become a shrink. A shrink who plays Maureen in RENT in her spare time. Naaah...just doesn't seem to work...
This is getting wierd. We have Kieth and Renata having kittens and Sean and I having clones. Can someone give us all a nice, icy-cold drink from the Chalice of Reality?
Well, Anakin kind of left him on a planet whose moon was about to crash into it. Han and Anakin saw the moon crash. No one's surviving that. Hoo boy, Han was ticked off. This isn't any "You crashed the car" or "You got an F in French", this is "You left my best friend to die". This is why I hate Anakin.
I'll take that as a compliment... or a threat on my life.
Yes, we can all start a "Chewie's not dead, really" fan club, and insist that he lives on, he's just invisible and mute.
Remember, mayo goes on sandwiches, and Mao ruled Communist China.
RML just keeps getting bigger and more interesting. Like a giant killer bloodsucking plant.
It's fine if you hate newbies, just hate them with a silent and simmering passion.
Keith: Can we get a 68 year old so I can learn how to embroider? Please Renata? PLEASE?
All Renata did was express her opinion on Misto's oreintattion, at least in the production of Cats that *she* saw. and if my cat were wearing glitter, I may be concerned too.
I dunno, but I've always wanted my own "Karate-Chop Action Flute."
Don't ever let anyone tell you that being drunk is fun. People are boring when they are drunk. They are FUN when they have had 7 snickers bars, 12 Mt. Dews, and 15 pixie sticks. THAT is fun. And you don't puke afterward.
I need to go turn my brain to happier thoughts...like Jacob Brent without the cat makeup....heck, while we're at it, without the cat costume...
Tea Kwon Doe? Does that have anything to do with deer sipping out of teacups at four o'clock in the afternoon on the planet Kwon?
Sean: Hmm... I wonder what WOULD make a chicken sexy...
Stalkers make me feel loved.
I would be a vegitarian, but I don't like the idea of killing defenseless carrots.
Herrings are better for physical beatings. If you want to use sarcasm, I suggest trout as an alternative. But, flounders are very...floundery.
Of course it's written in true RML fashion, it was, after all, written by the girl who put the R in RML
No shoes, no shirt, no sense of humor, no ability to read 200 emails a day, no service.
Okay. That still doesn't explain the toilet seat. An explanation must be offered within 24 hours or I shall... I shall.. I shall start using the word "shall" very often.
Hey, are you new here? Or are you just somebody else with a new name? Do you have a name? Is it Bob? Can I call you Bob anyway? And most importantly: do you like Rent? (The musical, not the concept of paying to borrow or inhabit something.)
Tee hee, you naughty little boy! Say.. ever wonder just why Mark is under the blanket in Contact? And, um, why he takes his camera with him? I mean, I know "Mark's in love with his work", but...
See, imagine how I felt. I mean, I've always wanted to know what the heck he was doing, and then I got close enough seats to see that he still had his camera...I bet he's just.. taking a nap. And using his camera for a pillow. Yes. Yes, that's it.
If life is a Broadway musical I want to date Mark ;-)
I personally am almost never without my RENT dog tag. It's quite the conversation starter.. "What's RENT?" "Oh, it's about [blah blah blah]" "Oh. My. God. ::runs in fear::"
He's just jealous of my gay hero!
Secret Service Dentist! I get to pull teeth and use Novocaine and still manage to be evil in other respects!
Oh. ok. That's fine. We all have our own opinions. Just, some people will DIE for them...
Jeez, what are you, like a Satanist or something? EVERYONE has heard of the Poky Little Puppy!! (Just kidding. Take no offense and hire no lawyers.)
By the tits of Hydatha and Agnira on a polka-dotted mule! Put that bastard up for sainthood; he's pulled off a friggin MIRACLE!
Kids under three are cool. They are evil, but they don't know it. Kinda like... Uh... Ellie. ;)
If you have one personality that's straight and one is gay, does it make you bi or insane?
Aw, Byers is cute! He reminds me of Scott Hunt gone yuppie gone conspiracy theorist... with smaller ears..
I thought we were talking about Krycek? If we're not.. well.. we should. Krycek Krycek Krycek!
Red meat isn't bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is.
I hope I make you fall down a stair.. but only one stair. Not a whole flight of stairs cuz that hurts. Trust me.
I missed ya Ellie!! Welcome Back!! Say, don't you owe me a load of money?
Maybe if this whole group buys some lives at the same time we'll get a group
discount!
I am a mysterious entity, flitting through the shadows of the night. Elusive as a--::gets shot::
I like Christina Agulariulareilaralay and Britney Spears just fine, I just MUTE the TV first.
I'm working on it! My hit man is slow, I didn't pay him very much...
Damn you RENTmockers! May the ghost of Angel haunt your closets!
I was just told to kill you brutally, by the powers that be. Wait, there's a typo, it really says I was told to thrill some taffy. This is gonna take a while to figure out...
I don't know Japanese, but i do know German, well you know, the words you need to survive: i love you, i hate you, and aluminum foil.
When was the last time someone told you to go to hell? Oh yeah.. just now.
Why copy and paste when you can cut and paste? It's a lot more destructive!
If my cartoon character Bill the hamster came out of my sketch book and had an E-mail account, he'd join this list and flame everybody for the microwaving hamster thing. But I'm not Bill am I?
You'd be surprised.. there was this one guy from Hungary, and he found my site by searching for the word Renata because he liked the name. He emailed me about his favorite types of vodka. I wonder what happened to him. Maybe I'll email him..
What we lack in inteligence and wit we make up for in spare time.
Go go gadget email!
I am your LIST QUEEN!! And I occasionally like to abuse my power!
R2-D2 originally was supposed to talk, but he swore like a sailor and was beeped out. Gotta love that dirty mouthed droid!
I have a life. I just schedule it around my email...
I just woke up. Never do that........
Morph Boy: Right now, i'm eating a SW ice-cream!! YAY! It's the shape of a Battle Droid.. The flavor is natural
lime something something and it's great! I didn't know Battle Droids tasted like that..
"December 24, 9 PM, Greenwich Standard Time, from here on in I shoot without a script.." Nah.. it's just not the same.
ANybody, if Miriam asks you if you want a cat, run away screaming.
That could be a movie... "Run! It's the evil, gender changing, demon cat!"
Ode to Gerbils
Gerbils are cool,
Gerbils are curious,
Gerbils are active,
Gerbils play a big part,
Gerbils are clean,
If Gerbils could talk,
All in all,
Argggggh!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE
YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!! I love everyone else though ;-) (But I hate that fucking song. Shut up Keithy. It's my birthday. I can use bad language if I want to, dammit.)
Anyone else to diss Renata answers to ME! ::the crowd laughs uproariously.::
::Dances around like some disturbed elf who need to stop eating sugar by the cup fulls::
Well, it all started the day before today. I remember it just like it was yesterday.
Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
If the circumference of a circle is the distance around the edge of it, and the diameter is the distance through that same circle, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll toostie pop?
Adios, amoebas!
56!! FIFTY-SIX?? FIFTY SIX FUC- FREAKING ANIMORPH BOOKS!! MY GOD!! LET'S KILL HER!!
So, once I took a ferry to Hawaii. And the guy said, "Where's your passport?". And so then I said, "My marker smells like cherries." And then the sky fell on us and Chicken Little published a tell-all autobiography, revealing that Monica Lewinsky is actually Miss Piggy reincarnate, thus disproving Einstein's Theory of Relativity. And the moon is made out of a GIANT BALL OF SILLY PUTTY.
Blast it, my lightsaber just changed color again! I knew I shouldn't have used a thermal detonator for the focusing gem.
Susan: Oh are we on multiple personalities again? I have an evil alter ego named Lily who I keep locked in my closet, since she only comes out on the fool moon to eat sea guppies....
Ellie: The fool moon? Is that when the special ed werewolves come out?
Hey, not all lifeless Americans without hobbies waste their time watching the
meaningless drivel that is the "reality TV" that our nation of voyeurs loves
so much. Some of us write RENTfic.
Elmo: all of you go download "Tiptoe" and "Cradle and All" by Ani... but then, go buy the CD, cos' stealing from Ani is bad.
Renata: *pats Elmo's head* I've taught you so well!
Renata: Yeah, well, if men had to give birth there'd be a LOT fewer children in this world, let me tell ya.
Liz: abortion would be, like, a sacrament.
Julia: agreed. Men are like, "aw honey, pop out a few babies, will you? thanks."
Speaking of slash, did anyone else watch Lone Gunmen last night? And did Jimmy really say "Hey! He's MY bitch!" (referring to Byers)? My friend Talia (she was on RML for like, a week) was over, and we could *swear* he said it, but... we weren't sure. And wouldn't Jimmy/Byers slash be really, really amusing?
We had a bomb threat and there were all sorts of ISU Rent-a-cops wandering around, under the guise of educating us about date rape. "I'm proud of you guys for doing the right thing and coming to class, so I'm giving you all extra credit."
*Laughs* Isn't it a funny world we live in. "Don't do drugs. Now go take your Ridilin and go to bed."
Priscilla: Yeah. "The Hockaday School of Dallas". Thank god we changed the name! It used to be "Miss Ela Hockaday's School for Girls". ::gags on a spoon:: We're all Hockadaisies. That's why our mascot is the Killer Daisy. The "killer" part was the students' idea, I assure you.
(while coming up with name acronyms)
Ellie: Julia is the Jewish Union of Lincoln-Impersonating Androids.
I want Storm's weather powers. "uh-oh. the schools are closed because of snow. and on the day of the big test! damn the luck!::snicker snicker::" or "I know it's past curfew mom, but there is a blizzard and its not safe to be on the roads. I guess I'll have to stay here overnight..." I also want cyclops' powers so I can wear the snazzy sunglasses!
Speaking of GOOD movies, here's an old one: The Good Son. You know, the one where Macaulay Culkin is this mentally disturbed kid who kills his little brother and tries to kill his mom and... ooh. It's such an awesome movie - no cheap slasher bits, just good old fashioned homicidal kids.
Okay, maybe you can help, how did the package save his life? I did not get that and Bri did not successfully explain it to me. And also, my brother runs around saying that wilson should win an Oscar for best supporting actor.
Renata: OBC is just original b'way cast... so.. unless the original broadway cast comes and performs at your house and skips... you mean OBCR :)
Liz: Whats christmas without a little bit of lawbreaking?
Priscilla: Yeah! Boring people rock! oh, I think that came out wrong. Um, Prudent People Rock!
Renata: Yee haw, let's go raise a barn!
Julia: I'll call Myrtle, Agnes, Mildred, and Dottie.
Renata: No, Mildred is trashy, don't invite her. Just the other day she was out showing Algernon her *ankles*!
Julia: ::falls off bed laughing. Squishes sleeping cat::
That's the fun of you, Elmo. All the bouncy-ness and fluffy-ness of a
preteen teenybopper girl, but without the actual preteen-teenybopper girl!
Actually, my chorus teacher introduced me to Rent. But I wasn't obsessed with it or anything, just aware of its presence and that it had some cool songs. Somehow it spiraled into.. uh.. this...
I never actually asked for advice, but now that you mention it: What should I do? Actually, don't answer that. If you suggested to buy her 12 fish and tickets to Ragtime, I probably would...
I had a teacher named Rudy Dick. If you spell that backwards, its Kcid Ydur. Sound it out - kid eater.
You realize you are asking for dating advice from a gay guy, a few lesbians, and a girl that obsesses over animal crackers.
If the "Battle for the Presidency" was like "Bop 'em Sock 'em Robots", *I* would watch it.
people who aren't part of DH (SHG shorthand for the music department)look at me strangely when i say i want to live in the village. "but isn't that full of, like, thespians and artists and fags and people with no money and stuff?" "yep, that's the village." "then why do you want to live there?!" "someone obviously missed the point..."
I love Catholic high school: "You know, Dan, we're gonna put you and Chris on an island. It'll be kinda like Survivor. And then, you know what? We're just gonna blow up the damn island."
I used to be so obsessed with Guys & Dolls! But then I like... stopped being obsessed. Um yeah, great story Renata... *wanders away*
If you ask me, I don't like any history after the Renaissance, I mean I love ancient world history and stuff like that, it's very interesting, but the modern stuff is all dates and people with evil hard to pronounce names.
has anyone seen the movie "St. Elmo's Fire?" it's an 80's movie, and it's damn skippy... and it's not about a fire
a girl in my history class and I are going to form our own political party. All of our current cantidates suck. there is the crazy frenchman (who WON, a christian fundamentalist redneck, a dinosaur, a former COMMUNIST, and a lady whos eyebrows look like there are 2 snakes trying to kill each other on her forehead. No wonder a third of canada didn't vote...
Priscilla: When we turn 35, Renata and I will run as "democrats" and my friend Chungy will run under "republican". Then people are forced (by law) to vote for one of the main candidates, so one of us will end up in power. Then we turn the losers into our cabinent.
Me: I think I have a cregangraph...
Why is it we get so many people who join and their only message is like "Get me out of here!"?
it would be funny if BO and PE rhymed. they don't. but i still think that'd be funny.
You sound like me... "I like Matt except for that thing where he's NOT SCOTT!" I will never get over Matt's not being Scott.
I wasn't bragging, I was just trying to make Elmo not feel so special.
I've decided that you're completely insane. I admire that.
You know how Bush and Gore is Gush and Bore? Well... Pat Buch is now Bat Puke.
Mulder: Aliens exist, I saw one in the closet last night
he he. Stupid git...her lead broke so she goes, "Oh my god, my pencil is like so gay!" then I said, "Oh yeah, I can feel how it's attracted to my pencil! woo woo". She said "what?" Then I explained that as pencils do not reproduce sexually, or asexually for
that matter, they have no attraction. They have no hormones, and therefore cannot be attracted. She looked at me funny.
My name is long, it has three syllables! But it's not scary. It sounds like the name of a little girl in pink bows and a frilly dress frolicking through the street, oblivious to the car headed in her direction.
I'm so insanely jealous. The only thing keeping me sane is if I think about the fact that Curtis has actually visited my site about him, but Harry Potter can't visit your site about him because he doesn't exist! HA! ... Uh... I really need more sleep
Megan: everyone shower ben with love and support. because dammit, he deserves it.
Danna: what the monkey is RenataPower?
I would definitely join a religion that worshipped orange juice. Especially the kind with added calcium!
Yeah... and if you think about it... not following fads is a fad, so if you want to rebel you have to conform! ... if you think about it too long your head explodes
Renata: I'm off to TheatreFest for 3 days! Yay! I leave Megan and Priscilla in co-charge, give them the same respect you give me (none) and don't do anything I wouldn't do...
Inna: I am Inna. That is all you need to know.
Katie: I've never been in a Relationship, i realize it would be quite stupid. (plus. i look like a water rat. not a good analogy since those things are cool though) i'm saying all i can do is sort of vaguely drool, nothing more. I can see me and my dog and an empty empty house ten years from now... cool.
have fun in DC! Deface some public property for me!
Ben: thats what i say! i told meg that the hp movie will suck big time, because there is so much stuff that it is going to be horribly done. how they gonna do fluffly? and make hagrid so big? and play quidditch.
Bri: I say James, you say Marsden! James!
Renata: Yeah, yell at Priscilla! maybe i'll just make EVERYONE a moderator, then they can deal with their own damn issues ;)
Elmo: You always say that during RML political unrest ^_~
Ben: *shakes head* everybody here is so boy/girl crazy
This dress code book I got at my junior high said "no offensive hairstyles." like my magenta ponytail would lean over the desk and poke someone! "Miss SHows, Elizabeth's hair is calling me dirty names!"
eh, i've never been a big fan of Lily or James, 'cause they're too damn HAPPY and I could never really empathize with them. Closest I could get was this evil Sirius/James/Lily complicated slashy-het-love-hate triangle. Then my head hurt and I quit.
i guess it does. the characters sucked. no offense or anything, but when you spend half of the book wanting the protagonist to be slapped, it's just not a fun novel.
Valentine's Day is so pointless for single people. "Here, no one loves you, have some candy"
I stunned sooo many people with my purple streaks, cuz I think they always had me chalked down as "Quiet little Renata... the one who is least likely to go on a killing spree, and therefore most likely. Avoid eye contact!"
Katie: if you stop to think about it, eggs and yogurt are some of the most disgusting things on earth to eat. "hey, can i have this wannabe chicken fetus?" "let's put little germs in our mouths that TASTE LIKE KIWI-STRAWBERRY!"
Fictional/Animated gay characters!! It's the only way to go!:
I can just imagine...The egos of Priscilla Spencer and Adam Pascal, locked in a battle to the death, filmed in Japanese horror movie style. With really bad dubbing. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
I *was* being nice! If I were being mean, it would have been something like "DAMN YOU MEGAN! YOUR BABIES WILL HATE YOU! I hex thee and thine! You have hair like SAM! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA! *cackle, megan is struck by lightning*" But see, I wasn't like that at all.
You don't have to say you're kidding. All threats on RML are considered jokes, except when regarding punishments for insults to our favorite actors, Harry Potter, various anime, and types of cheese.
Renata's mom: Want a Christmas cookie? You know, I think all people are bisexual. How about you, are you bisexual? How good of friends are you with Megan?
Buwahaha.... hey, who here remembers Lara? SHe was like.. 9 or something, and she was all bragging because people told her she looked 11, or something? And she told us all to go to hell because we didn't like Backstreet Boys or something? Good times, good times.
I watched it, it's the first time I've watched TXF since the second ep this season, which is roughly how long it took me to figure out the show sucked without Mulder. (I figured it out the first ep, but I thought I'd give it a chance.) But then I was watching my beloved Malcolm, and there were all these commercials for "David Duchovny's return to the X-Files!" so I watched it. But it sucked. They should have just cancelled it rather than try to go on with Mulder. It's like if Felix would have left the Odd Couple and they tried to replace *him* with some random guy off the street, it wouldn't work now would it? Nooo....
You know what?! ... ... ... No, neither do I... but... shut up
Renata: Yeah, see, there's this thing called MIMI that just totally will not let me believe M/R... unless the M stands for Mimi, in which case, carry on ;)
Sit up straight, don't bite your nails, and don't write in pencil or you're going to sharpen the stupid thing by mouth next time it breaks.
Well, think about it....a straight man, writing a duet with two lesbians...probably not something he had dealt with in his personal experience......
I like NYTW "Rent" better than the Broadway "Rent." Suicidal Mark and Roger are just so damn cute....
Well, then, let's all be like everyone ELSE, yes, that's the thing to do!
Valentine's day is a smack in teh face to a single person. "Since nobody loves you, you should eat lots of cheap chocolate so you get fat and ugly and remain undesirable."
Elmo: I have some Gojira manga, and whenever he stomps a city, in big black letters, it'll show the characters for bo and shi, twice each! So I'm assuming that's the Japanese sound effect for stomping on cities ^_^
Tiff: Heehee... boshi boshi... ::has to start saying that instead of smashbang when she destroys something:: It'll never be on jeopardy though...
Julia: Of course! I've already invied some people from my school. we can be lonely and bitter together!
Priscilla: Yeah, but if you threw me off a cliff there would be no one to tell you my passwords. ::sticks out tongue:: Ha!
Elmo: Maybe it's a reeeaaally small cliff
Katie: M/R fic... *sighs* I tried, Kait, I really tried... but bad things began to happen to the prose... Um, but I'm almost done with Animorph slash. Somehow I think everyone's looking sick now ^_^
Another virgo! We really should discuss world domination over a light lunch...
I was in deep thought. Philosphical, actually, like leaf falling out of a tree. I fell out of a tree once, but not like a leaf. I was just climbing and sliped. Fell right to the ground. It hurt. But I'm over it.
I think Jake is one of the cutest humans alive. Even moreso than Curtis. Jake is just cute as toast and twice, if not thrice, as crunchy.
You, dearie, have an inferiority complex. This, of course, is because you're an idiot."
Renata: Okay so... in the TMNT theme song, when they say "Turtles on a half shell!" what the hell is that supposed to mean? When I was little I asked my dad and he said that it was because it was half an hour long. It occurs to me that he probably just made that up to make me be quiet.
Elmo: On a test two years ago, I got the question question "How was Israel created?" ... OK, I figured that was a stupid question, so I was gonna put like, "Through years and years of erosion," but figured that it didn't even *deserve* a logical answer... so I put "By the magical pink pixies and their magical pink pixie dust."
Elmo: Chi is originally a Chinese concept, and it was adapted into Japanese culture, but the Japanese version is ki, so they still got it wrong ::fume::
*pause* Ya know, I used to write Beanie Baby fanfic. *pause* These WILL be the years I look back on fondly. These WILL be
the years I look back on fondly...
Bah. Soon we'll have another plague and the whole over population problem with be solved.
Keith: Inna gets points for being Anti-American like me. Hey, how's about yous and me go and take over a small country?
It would be like.."RAWR, I am CINNIMON, i will EAT you and your CHILDREN and make you full of TASTY SPICES!"
Hey! You're alive! Now we can have a support group. Straight Men Of Renata's Miscellaneous List, or SMRML... That looks stupid actually..
"Bela Tibbetts" sounds like an ordeurve.
This reminds me of a story my friend told me. He was doing a debate in English about heart disease, and he slipped and said "Heart disease is a good thing!" He decided that he'd get points off for saying something like that, but decided that he'd get more points off for retracting his statement and continued: "Sure! It helps to kill off old sick people, and keeps the population low and young! Besides, most people who get through heart disease die of cancer anyway!"
It's like a pervert's "Green Eggs and Ham".
I'm replying to my own email... Oh well. I was just reading the Quote Arcives and... Whoa! I used to say such funny things! Why did I stop!? *cries* I'm not funny anymore. I'm to angry and bitter... so wrong. Where's there Anti-Moody stick?
Like a post-apocalyptic Jane Austin... with welding goggles.
And honestly, if God *really* hated gays, he would've given us all really small assholes, with TEETH.
Keith: Of course. That's what the list is. A support group for bitterness and hate!
--Renata, talking about the pic of me with Adam Pascal
Elmo: LOL!! What I would give to go to a party like that... My soul? Yes. I only I hadn't sold it for that cream cheese...
Liz: because...well, elmo...i AM you. i took your soul last night. tomorrow you will have to go to a private girls school and wear a kilt and convince 56 girls that it IS alright to go to the bathroom withoiut taking hordes of your friends.
Renata: You need at least one friend to go with you in case there's a monster in the garbage can. But you also need to leave at least one person behind in the lounge so Elmo doesn't decide that everyone hates him and run off to mope.
Elmo: That only happened TWICE!!
Elmo: Like, bandannas? I wear those all the time...
Renata: Yes, and they make you look like an elfin chemo patient.
Inna: penguins don't have their own continent! They share it with seals, skuas, and...ahem....dolphins!
Renata: I mean, their own people-less continent. (Those scientists you hear about--they really just go to Canada and make stuff up.)
Katie: Yeah, and if you're exceptional in that field, you get a stalkee of the month award.
Me: It's a type of .wav file.
Elmo: You remind me of Jane, from Daria, only energetic.
Keith: Write "OH MY GOD!! CHOCOLATE BUNNIES OF DEATH ARE CLAWING AT MY DOOR! THEY SAID THEY CRAVE HUMAN BRAINS!"
Elmo: What the plam is a hell ass?
Keith: It's a flaming donkey minion of Hell. Oooh. Ideas for a B- movie!
Elmo: I AM NOT A VIRGIN!! ... Er, of RENT!
Renata: Elmo, you're a Rent virgin. You haven't seen Rent. That's the definition of Rent virgin. It's like saying, "I am not a virgin!! I've never actually had sex, but I read Playboy all the time!"
Elmo: ::mumbles:: Playgirl.
Keith: Yes, but that's what makes you so lovable. Like a little bird, that keeps flying into a window... ;)
Renata: I like the phrase "strange happy collection of twigs."
Katie: i'd have to ask my mom. but meanwhile, one could be ______ no koi(bito) which is ______'s sweetheart/lover/whatever. so. yeah. As an additional note, it would be sort of strange to be Lupin no Koi, which is why i stuck to Lupin no Miko .. that way i can worship without being a reverse pedophile...
Renata: It depends on the colors... but red/green plaid pants and pink fuzzy bras are a fashion no-no... and if it was a red or green fuzzy bra you'd look like an elf. A stripper elf.
Airika: Stripper elfs? Now there's an idea...
Renata: Oh come on, you don't really think the elves are making toys all year round, they need vacations too...
Ellie: ::sudden image of Dobby singing "I'm too sexy for my socks"...:: That's just kind of wrong.
Renata: LOL! You just made me choke on an ice cube, I hope you're happy.
The U.S. government's ban on gay men donating blood is:
Liz: discriminatory? are all the people who get gay blood going to "catch" gayness? i dont THINK so.
Keith: Oh, That reminds me. Elmo, did you ever want to be a knight when you were little?
Elmo: Actually, yeah, and I was for Hallowe'en when I was 10 ^_^
Keith: Oh. Well I'm still mad. Damn gay knights are messing up my romantic fantasies for fictional characters...
Ellie: Did the medieval doctors have to use gay leeches to bleed them when they were sick?
Inna: until I fully understood what knight were, I always wanted to be one. I mean, come one, what kid doesn't want to have a sword...and wear shiny armor....and fight dragons...it's Little Kids 101. Sir Galahad! er....Lady Galahad? No...ladies back then were pod scum, I'll have surgery, and be a knight. There. Yeah.
Renata: We have one, but most people call him Mr. Clinton to his face.
Ellie: Can I be one of the royal dudes that doesn't do anything? That way, I get to live in luxury, but I don't get killed if there's a revolution.
Keith: Who would have thought it wouldn't work out between a straight girl and a gay guy?....
Elmo: ::GLARE:: Are you insulting our relationship? WE HAVE SOMETHING SPECIAL HERE, so BACK OFF!!
Renata: Yeah, but Keith is my stalker, so there's a special place for him in the love polygon too.
Keith: *Laughs* I guess triangles are out. Whoa are the other 2 in this polygon?
Bri: ME! *grr* 'cause i love naters. yeah.
Ellie: Renata...I never told you, but I love you. Will you marry me?
Renata: *sniff* I love you too Ellie, but my heart belongs to a Turkish photographer... *sob* Oh Murat! Come back to me!
Keith: I think the whole list is a love polygon now... And a confused one at that.
Renata: I'm SORRY! *cries* Ths just means you have to come to Iowa with us ;)
Ellie: Why can't you all just come to Dallas? Erm...I'll find a hot guy and throw a bucket of water on him for you!
Keith: *Turns head upside down like an owl* You have to like men nowadays to get girls. We're in Hell.
Elmo: Seriously, I will!!
Danna: Yayfun! I will, too! And It would be funny: And the Presidental elections are just coming in! It's..*whispers:"wtf?!?who is this?!?" "Just say it!"* ...Well folks, it's, uh, Renata! Who the f*ck is She?!
Renata: And then I would show up wearing my Rainbow Brite shirt and my tiara and wand, and with my fake British accent I would say, "Hello, dahlings!" and America would love me. Or else fear me and I'd be assassinated within my first week of Presidency.
Keith: I'd be the body gourd that got confused and jumped away from you, when I saw the assassin.
Keith: I want none of those things. *Evil grin*
Kait:Harry Potter will give you the ability to fly. Harry Potter will give you free tickets to RENT. Harry Potter will teach you how to magically do your homework. Harry Potter will show you The Light (tm). Head tooowwwaaaarrdddsss the light. Harry Potter is all that is healthily insane. Join the insanity....read Harry Potter....
Keith: I don't like RENT though. And I don;'t have homework. Flying is cool. And when I do I wont go towards the light. That's a Christian thing.
Kait: Ummm......::glances at Keith's sig:: Harry Potter will rid the world of cows. Harry Potter will help you accomplish all your goals. Harry Potter will send his uncle Big Tony after you with a lead pipe if you don't read his books...
Ellie: ::blinks:: Uncle Tony? Oh I can so picture Sirius is all this mob attire
and one of those Mafia Italian accents calling himself "Uncle Tony"... "Papa Sirius don't like the way you been treating Brother Harry..." ::makes slight hand gesture, and a bunch of really big guys come forward, brandish large chains. After all, he *is* The Godfather... Oh god, I've REALLY got to stop reading these books.
Kait: ::laughs hysterically for somewhere between 5 and 15 minutes:: I really need a life, don't I.....but I didn't even think of the implications of that as I wrote it....come to think of it, I CAN see Sirius in mafia garb....::snickers more:: Gee, I wish I had friends who read Harry Potter so I could share that with them...I'll have to go steal some...
Kait: The secret is to show no mercy. They do something right, send 50 volts of electricity through their body. They do something wrong, send 100 volts. Occasionally give them a muffin for obediance.
Keith: Has anyone seen my will to live?
Keith: *Girl runs up to actor screaming like a girl scout* "I just cut my arm off for you! AHHHHHH!" *Bleeding* *Actor turns and runs for fear of his life*
Ellie: Not even Reijos? Now that's sirius-- I mean serious. Yeah. Serious. Sorry...one-track mind.
Katie: You know, that sentence really threw me for a lupin..I mean loop. You know, that's enough french bread for one night.
Elmo: I want to see an Oliver/Cedric fic ::evil grin::
Bri: bleh. Cedric/Percy, now THAT would be interesting...
Inna: Umm...er...Bri?...Elmo?...you are aware that Cedric is dead....right? That would be necrophilia, or however that's spelled.
English: I was stalking X and he saw me in the bushes and asked what I was doing.
Elmo: Hell.
Elmo: AHEM!!
Renata: You don't count 'cause I knew you in RL before RML. That M makes all the difference.
Renata: I like them! I never liked Mary though. She was so pretentious and... good! Like ew.
Inna: Yeah, that's why they are bad. Any book where the person has no freakin' faults...grrrr.
Renata: But Laura was cool.
Inna: No, she sucked. That time period sucked. It sucked. Books need dragons, and swords, space travel, time trabel, and death. But did those books have any of that? No...they just had stupid little girls frolicking in the medow.
Elmo: No, cos' then you'd mail RML about how you have crushes on your kids.
Katie: That's even more mysterious when you realize e-mails
are text....
Karalyn: Nobody else calls her Ellie in real life? That would be difficult.
Renata: Well, considering her name is PRISCILLA, no...
Karalyn: I know that. But Ellie is a NICK NAME. Which means you get called that anyway, normally.
Renata: It's not a nickname, it's a name she made up to avoid stalkers... obviously it didn't work.
Karalyn: The label on the box for her hair dye probably said something along the lines of "Do not apply to eyebrows, it may get in your eyes and you will be forever blinded" and if you're a super mutant person being blind just to have eyebrows the same color of your hair seems rather pointless.
Bri: the only problem being that she can't TOUCH them...
Elmo: Hey, I'm practically Rogue!
Renata: You have fluffy hair with a white streak and you drift in and out of having an accent?
Kait: Hm. I'm hoping that was a typo for "queer" but I wouldn't put "queen" past you either....
Elmo: AHEM ::cough:: QUEER, that is...
Renata: But: If people didn't eat eggs, the eggs would be fertilized, and then they would grow up to be chickens. So bah. Fishboy.
Elmo: Just because we don't eat human eggs doesn't mean that all women will automatically become pregnant :P
Renata: True, however, chickens are far more likely to get pregnant than humans :)
Renata: Ha! I so told you. But do we listen to Renata?! Noooo... she's just a stupid whackable girl with nice socks...
DAnna: How are people ever going to learn the way you did tho?
Renata: Unless you plan to be a doctor why do you NEED to dissect a fetal pig? I don't imagine most people need to be able to identify a pancreas in typical day-to-day life...
Liz: well what if some random appendage comes running down the street, and someone says "have you seen my pancreas/spleen/intestine?" and u can point to it and tell them.
Monarch Butterfly 1: And this is a Lawyer, note the extensive fangs, used for sucking the blood from victims...
Monarch Butterfly 2: Reminiscent of the Doctor, with rather elongated fingers for the quick theft of money from their patients...
Chris: Wouldn't trust rented hair. Who knows where it's been?
Stephen: You rented hair? Wouldn't that be like buying a wig?
"That's because you're in a spaceship, Amidala."
"I know! But I'm still flying!"
Idiot.
Darth Nibenay: Herrings are better for physical beatings. If you want to use sarcasm, I suggest trout as an alternative. But, flounders are very...floundery.
Darth Nibenay: Probably outside freezing its ass off with the Holiday Chair...er Cheers...er You-Get-The-Joke
Keith: Then he will take it over, kill it for the insurance money and/or sell it to the Russians.
Jordan: Sell it to the Russians? Wouldn't dream of it. *yells into background* Sorry guys, no deal. *whole bunch of Russians swear in russian and/or spit at me*
Jordan: Nah, just came to take your place on the list. Seeing now that you came back I'll have to brutally murder you in your sleep...so, ah, next Thursday good for you? Me too...see ya than. Ta ta.
Bri: Oh well, welcome Inna, and beware titanium baseball bats.
Liz: Considering Inna lives under the proverbial ROCK...
Inna: That would have been funny if it wasn't about me.
Renata: Eminem is a white guy who can't rap. So is Harry Potter.
Renata: Oh yeah? Well, the Little Mermaid was really a mantatee, and Prince Eric was
a nearsighted, drunken pirate!
Karalyn: How else do you expect their stalkers to find you?
Elmo: Through RML of course!
write some stupid haikus if
i tried very hard
Renata: 'Cause rice is sexy. And if it's chicken fried rice, whoa.
Liz: but somehow, yelling out "Ohhhhh, Uncle Ben! RIIIIIIICE!" in the throes of passion isnt really a turn on.
Stephen: They're taking away mine and Keith's jobs!
Keith: *Holds up his "Will stalk for food" sign*
Keith: Yeah. But, you get one of those cool canes! Maybe if you just got a real long one and stuck it out the car window... they would let you drive....
Renata: Maybe for your birthday Keithy. Crystal, I know you run around with a pretty rowdy crowd, do you know any 68 year olds who embroider, are insane, and have an email account?
Marco: Oh, your feathers are *so* sexy...
Elizabeth: Maybe a chicken in a negligee
Renata: Hey, chickens are sexy all by themselves. We had this conversation about a week ago on another list...
Elizabeth: hey, I can make a chicken sexy! our freshman class is collectively called the sexy chickens!
Keith: I find turkeys much more seductive...
Keith: I can imagine it now....Anakin stops, jumps out the plane, and tries to eat a Battle Droid. "WAIT A MINUTE! YOU'RE NOT LIME GREEN!"
Chuck is an evil transvestite cat that likes to eat small children.
Their fast without fuel,
If I were a gerbil,
I'd take over school.
They're chewing makes me furious,
I still do love them,
I must be delirious.
It's very satisfactive,
Gerbils are soft,
Most human girls are attractive.
Their minds are art,
If gerbils were humans,
They'd be just as smart.
I'd gladly lend them my spleen,
Just like a gerbil,
It's hard to be mean.
They would not mock,
They make catch on late,
They'd still be as sharp as a hawk.
Gerbils will not fall,
You need a gerbil,
So give the pet store a call!
*NO RENATA, KILLING IS WRONG*
BUT IT'S THE ANIMORPH LADY!!
*OH.. KILL HER THEN*
(As you can see, I have a defective conscience.)
Renata: I vaguely quote the great Gloria Steinem (don't remember exact quote, don't wanna look) when I say "If men could menstruate, they'd brag about how long and how much."
"If I get shot, do I get more extra credit?"
"Hmm... yes. And if you're blown to pieces, the amount of extra credit you receive will be equal to the number of pieces you're in."
Renata: The Killer Daisy is way cooler than the Pioneer. I mean... the *pioneer*! What crackhead administrator picked that one?
Julia: what are Pioneers gonna do - *settle* the other team? We're the Redmen. If I were native american, I think I might be offended...
Renata: Haha Redmen, we'll steal your land and force you into reservations! Finally, a worthy foe for the pioneers...
Renata: I wonder if the Lincoln impersonator we saw was Jewish... Ah, points to ponder, points to ponder. When i repeat stuff it makes me sound smarter. Or something.
Elmo: That would be SO COOL! ... Aside from the skipping part
Katie: Please tell me I wasn't the only one who thought Elmo meant literal skipping, like prancing.
Priscilla: I think it could go both ways. It originally meant a blip in the track, but it evolved, X-Men style, into a bunch of white Egyptians frolicking around my family room.
Renata: But it's not about the lawbreaking, it's about the spirit of giving away your ill-gotten goods to your crazy stalkers!
Renata: "And in an amazing victory, 3rd party candidate Nader Jr. got 99% of the vote! Renata and Ellie feel it was their stance on taxes that lost them the presidency, though it may have been their stance on marriage to inanimate objects..."
Inna: So do I!
Renata: Me too! Plus about a skillion pictures with him (skillion: the number of skittles it takes to reach the moon from Piedmont, North Dakota), and about 50 megs of MP3 of him... hee hee...
Scully: Shut up, Mulder, there must be a logical explanation
Mulder: *holds up photograph of alien*
Scully: I don't care, it's a farce
Mulder: Bah
*the picture blows away in the wind, and is then struck by lightening*
Scully: See, now you have no proof. They don't exist anyway
Mulder: Bah
Ellie: I read that as "everyone shower with ben"... ::hugs ben and offers him a Lupin plushie::
Elmo: Wow, a sex-related topic that HASN'T come up on RML before!
Renata: RenataPower is the POWER OF RENATA! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Danna: Oh! The power of Renata! Being able to hurt you'r toe on many ocasions!
Renata: *frowls* *smites Danna*
Megan: *is sad that renata's gone* awwwww but hey, look, Ellie and i get to be in charge! *dances around randomly* we're gonna whip this list into shape! Er... well, not so much whip into shape... as... sit around and do nothing. Right Priscilla?
Ellie: ::looks up from her refreshing fruit smoothie and the harem of listies giving her back/foot massages:: Abusing my power? What? Um, of course! Yeah. Sitting around doing nothing sounds good... HEY! Get back to polishing that crown, Stephen! I want it so shiny I can see my face in it!
Elmo: But you also need to know that it's pronounced *EE-nah,* and she'll probably hit on you ^_~
Inna: LOL! Elmo how evil! ...actually nevermind, that's completely true. so...how old are you newbie?
Priscilla: You're actually asking his age? I didn't think that mattered with you, Inna. ::coughXcough::
Inna: wow, everyone is evil today. but everyone is also speaking the truth. cooncidence...I think not! ... I need another opening line...um....what's your favorite book?
Tiffers: ::figures that if nothing else happens, she'll just surround herself with bats, dogs, snakes, hedgehogs, vinegaroons, cats, ferrets, this thing that looks like a cross between a cat and a ferret, lizards, skinks, and fish::
Priscilla: ::gasp:: Not even a lemur? Shame. I want multiple lemurs, a domesticated rat, a ferret, several bats, a dog, a snake, a lizard, and a certain werewolf...
Tiffany: Are lemurs legal?
Priscilla: Only if they're over 18.
Elmo: ::blasts the words "COMPUTER GRAPHICS" across Ben's computer screen::
Priscilla: ::shudders as she imagines "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone: The Broadway Musical":: Thank god we haven't sunk that low yet... Got a scar across my head / And my mum and dad are dead / They died from dark wizard attack, / Everyone thought it was Sirius Black!
Lizzy: Marsden!
Bri: James!
Lizzy: Marsden!
Zach: Shoot me!
Susan: That sounds like something out of my history book. "Due to the RML political unrest of the 1870s, France was launched into its fifty billionth revolution..."
Tiffany: France gets nothing done without revolutions. Examples: 1) "The cafeteria won't give free tartarsauce on fishdays!" "Revolution!" 2) "We don't want to be under opressive thumbs! Let us all lop off some royal heads!" 3) "I want dinner but mom says it isn't ready yet!" "Let's go burn Paris!"
Tiffers: ::confidential whisper:: Psssst--It's really a front...In actuality, we're all just a bunch of over-evolved, asexual amoebas ready to take over the world with our majestically glory-filled one-celled-ness. Prepare to be cilia-ed to death, foul multi-cellular creature! Fellow protoplasm blobs, attaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!! Down with the higher orders of life! Down, I say, dowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn!!! ::proceeds to cover herself with a long flowy blanket, crawl around, and eventually find and engulf a carton of chocolate ice cream::
Julia: That would make an excellent diet. You could lose a ton of weight just by thinking about what you're actually eating.
Ms. Crowell: So, do you two have boyfriends yet?
Kait and Ingrid: ::look at each other and snicker::
8th Grader Kait hates: I know this Sophomore at the High. I think you'd like him, he's kinda werid like you.
Kait: Um...is he animated and/or fictional?
8thGrader: .....
Kait: I thought so...
Renata: ::pause:: I'm straight, and I'm just friends with Megan.
Renata's mom: Are you sure? 'Cause you know I'd be perfectly fine if you were gay, I just want you to be honest with me.
Renata: No, I'm straight.
Renata's mom: I don't think you should label yourself like that, most people are bisexual.
Elmo: Mimi was a clever plot device to make Roger seem straight ::nods sagely::
Alextrebek: Our Final Jeopardy category is Random Noises. Here's the clue. "Boshi boshi."
Contestant 2: What is the Japanese sound effect for stomping on cities?
Alextrebek: Correct!
It's manga-rific! Ooo, new word.
Renata: Isn't being lonely together kind of an oxymoron?
Priscilla: ::trying to decide whether to laugh or vomit:: Animorph slash? Is this Jake/Marco or Rachel/Cassie? Oh my...
Elmo: Hey, I read Jake/Marco!!
Katie: on this anilist i moderate, we decided that marco was a flaming bisexual who was only hitting on cassie to hide his own insecurities... and we had this HUGE discussion about incest, and it spawned like four tom/jake fics... *amused*
Tiff: First off, turtles IN a half shell. And I think it has something to do with their carapace and stuff, but I forget.
Renata: I thought it was supposed to be like "oysters on the half shell" and that disturbed me, I was afraid someone would eat the Turtles.
Liz: Because they only HAVE half-shells. I mean, if they were in a WHOLE shell, they would be walnuts. And nobody wants to watch a show call Teenage Mutant Ninja Walnuts.
Renata: I figured it was something clever, not something dumb like that. I mean, really. That'd be like if Darkwing Duck's theme song had "Hero with a beak" in it. That's just stupid.
Liz: I sympathize, elmo. One of my friends told me Napoleon was banished to an island because they wanted to teach him clown skills and make him a professional jester. And I beleved her. And wrote it as an answer.
Kait: ::laughs:: Last year in English when I didn't know an answer to a question on an Odessey quiz (which happened once a day, at least) I would make up an answer that was totally off base. Like, one was "What did Diomedes suggest the Greeks do after Achilles declined to return to battle?" and I answered, "He said they should sit and make dasiy chains in the feild while singing delightfully whimsical Barenaked Ladies songs."
Renata: Heh heh heh.. Trina told him the scientific method was when you wrote your lab writeups in rhyme. Her example was "If you drink boron, you're a moron." And he BELIEVED her.
Keith: And I was the one who told you that...
Elmo: You were? I'm sorry, I have a tendency of spitting out knowledge, and it's usually to the person who bestowed it on me... so I look all stupid
Renata: And he believes anything you tell him, it's fun to watch him spit back totally inaccurate facts :)
Elmo: I know what the scientific method is *NOW!*
Tiff: ...and you didn't before? What did you think it was?
Elmo: ... None of your business...
Inna: woo hoo. sounds good to me. we can make canabalism legal...and have Ant clones...and our very own Rent cast... and...do you want anything? what shall we call it?
Keith: We could make public stones legal! Ha! And, um, I'd want to wear a crown.And we could call it... um... Kinna Land? Ieth World?
Inna: public stones? what's a public stone? I want a crown too! hmm...let's say Ieth Land. because...ieth sounds so cool...and of coarse it would be an island. surrounded by dolphins (you knew it was coming)
Renata: Would there be pirates?
Keith: Naturally. We'll call them Vikings though, for sake of... it sounds a hell of a lot better! And, to answer the question I didn't before, public stoning, where we stone... bad... people. Or just any people really. I'd like to walk down the street and be like "I don't like you. Go be stoned."... actually I can do that. Because most people downtown are stoned..
Renata: *sulks* I want PIRATES!
Keith: Okay. We'll have both. But the Vikings get more beer.
Renata: Ok. But can the pirates have eye patches? And witty parrots and such?