Hey, speaking of milk…I like chocolate milk. White milk is OK in cereal, but to drink, chocolate is better. The only other good use of white milk is cooking - put it in Macaroni and Cheese and eggs. Anyway, chocolate is good milk. It helps when your mouth is hot. Especially with pizza. Hey, speaking of pizza, I've noticed something. Lots of people eat pizza. And lots of those people like weird toppings on their pizza, like pineapple or anchovies. I don't like those toppings. They don't have their place on pizza. The only toppings that should go on pizza are pepperoni, ham, and sausage. That should be it. Cheese is OK, but not if there's a lot. Mark's pizza puts a lot of cheese on their pizzas. I don't like that. Maybe they could save some money if they didn't use so much cheese. If they did, they could give me some. After all, I did come up with the idea to use less cheese. But they probably won't. So, I have to get my money from somewhere else. Unfortunately, I'm not old enough to get a good job. So, I have to resort to allowance to get money. But I don't get an allowance. My dad says that the wrestling tournaments have taken place of my allowance because of entrance fees, concessions, etc. So, since this week is the last one, I should start getting an allowance soon. But, there's a $160 bike I really want. So if I get that, I wouldn't get an allowance for a while. I have to weigh my options. Either I get an allowance, or a new bike. If I got an allowance, I could buy Magic cards more often. But if I got a bike, I could bike with friends more often. I like biking with friends. I do it almost every day. One time, I sneaked out of my house to bike with friends. I didn't even get caught. That was cool. My parents were gone for the night, and I was home alone. I'm glad I didn't get locked out. That would have sucked. Especially because I would have to explain to my parents why I was out of the house. And I wouldn't have wanted to do that. On the other hand, I could buy more Magic Cards. Then maybe my decks wouldn't suck. And maybe I'd get lucky and find a Rhox worth $9 like Ryan. He was lucky. His first deck ever had a Rhox in it. Lucky Ryan.
--Jeff
What do you mean EGH!!! Pink hair rocks and everyone knows it! Many important people throughout the history had pink hair! Utena! Sailor Chibi Moon! Abraham Lincoln! Where would this world be without them? And think about all the people who have naturally pink hair! They are people too, you know, and I'm sure they got hurt by your comment! Apologize to them NOW! You hear me? NOW!!!!!!
--Tanja
i'm getting sick, but it's nothing a couple gallons of orange soda couldn't fix. in fact, all i've consumed in the past 24 hours is half a breakfast burrito and lots and lots of sunkist orange soda, manufactured by the dr pepper bottling company in jolly ol dallas. it has 52 grams of carbohydrates, all of which are simple sugars, and some glycerol ester of wood rosin. yes, i love orange soda. yesssssssssss. mmmm...orange soda...if lizziebeth drinks 7 cans of orange soda a day, and each wonderful can holds 12 ounces of the divine liquid, how many liters of orange soda does lizziebeth consume in one week? screw dr pepper! give me orange soda! it has all the benefits of regular orange juice, 'cept it has sodium benzoate, caffiene, no vitamin c, and the extra advantage of being fizzy and tickling your tongue. goodnight. i'd go to sleep if i wasn't wired on orange soda.
--Bethyliz
They say memory's cheaper than ever nowadays, so I went in to a computer store and asked where I could get more memory. My brain was already full from remembering all the useless Name Etymology stuff from my website, so I needed more space. A sales representative took me to the memory section, but they only sold them to people named Mack or people that are really Politically Correct. I asked him if they sold memory to school kids named Ellie, and he said yes, and he asked me if I had a Mack or a P.C. I told him I didn't have a boyfriend named Mack, but I could pass for being sort of Politically Correct. He just kind of stared at me. Stupid sales representative. It's impossible to get good help these days.
--Me
What are tomatoes? My science teacher says that scientists don't even use the word 'fruit' and 'vegetable,' just 'plant.' For some reason, I don't believe him. I think it's all a coverup. A rotten government conspiracy. Now this poses the question: Why does the government always conspire against *me?* Is there some hidden truth about tomatoes? Their origins? Their purpose? But
still the question of their existence bothers me. They are a paradox in themselves, both fruit and vegetable at the same time. A person being a paradox usually drives them to insanity, however, for millenia, tomatoes seem to cope. How? And still, if we dig deeper, where did they come from? Are they a fruit/vegetable crossover? Or are they one or the other? Maybe neither... I leave you with this to ponder.
--Elmo
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! It's all part of my plan to take over the earth.
First, I plan to take the world off guard by entering the world Ping-Pong championship and doing really badly, on purpose. Then I will take South African judges by surprise by pelting Ping-Pong at their noses. Where I then pretend that I can't speak Swahili and I'm deaf and start to tell them that they are a ugly horse in Sign Language. They will be so confused that I will take over their judges stand and use their TV microphone to announce to the world that if they don't listen to me I will be really mad and eat them! Everybody will be so afraid that they will listen to me and bring me all the cheese cake that I demand! I will then declare myself princess of the world and force my little minions to dance the funky chicken while on roller-skates. I AM ALL POWERFUL!
--Karalyn
I grovel before the mighty Helmacron captain, most mighty of the mighty, undisputed champion of the world in the dust-weight category! We grovel like the pitiful losers we are! We grovel like a guy who hasn't got a date the day before the prom and the only girl around is the head cheerleader, that's how much we grovel.... O mighty Helmacron dead guy, we grovel like a video game addict trapped in an arcade without a quarter, that's how much we grovel. You would not believe the depths of our grovelry! We grovel like a guy with a large order of fries and the only salt shaker is at the table of the school bully. We grovel--
--Marco, from one of the evil Animorph books of death
56!! FIFTY-SIX?? FIFTY SIX FUC- FREAKING ANIMORPH BOOKS!! MY GOD!! LET'S
KILL HER!!
*NO RENATA, KILLING IS WRONG*
BUT IT'S THE ANIMORPH LADY!!
*OH.. KILL HER THEN*
(As you can see, I have a defective conscience.)
--Renata
Oh, my sweet gummi bears! I never could have done it without you. Thank you for sticking to the ceiling, from which I can retrieve you at will. Thank you for your noble sacrifice.
--Dark Nascent
ROCK ON!!!I FEEL LIKE WRITING TO YOU IN CAPS LOCK!!!!! ISN'T IT FUN TO READ ALL THESE HUGE LETTERS???? DO I EVEN NEED TO ASK? OF COURSE IT'S FUN!!! YOU SHOULD READ MY COMMMENT IN UR GUESTBOOK... I THIN KIT IS FUNNY AT LEAST HE PART YOU ASKED ABOUT STUFF RELATED TO X- FILES! OKAY I HAVE T OGO BUT NOT WITHOUT WRITING TO YOU IN REALLY SMALL LETTERING FIRST!!!! BWAAAAHHHHH!!!!! i LIKE UR WEB PAGE! G2G MY PARENTS WITH PICKLE MY HEAD IN A JAR!....WITHOUT ADDED PRESERVATIVES!!!!!!!!
--The ramblings of Julia
So, once I took a ferry to Hawaii. And the guy said, "Where's your passport?". And so then I said, "My marker smells like cherries." And then the sky fell on us and Chicken Little published a tell-all autobiography, revealing that Monica Lewinsky is actually Miss Piggy reincarnate, thus disproving Einstein's Theory of Relativity. And the moon is made out of a GIANT BALL OF SILLY PUTTY.
--The ramblings Renata
"In 10 words or less, I morphed. I'm a flea." Do you think that Jake counted before he said that, making exactly 10 words? Do you think Rachel counted the words to make sure they had been 10 or less? Have you ever opened a perfect Oreo? Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
--Written in my school yearbook
And she has a bloody nameplate on the door! A NAMEPLATE!! After a couple of months!! Scully has been working with TXF for more than FIVE YEARS!!! This is too much. This is just TOO MUCH! She's a bleeping criminal!!
--Spookygal, in a Fowley-bash
Me (Epocha Voyager): Ou est la bibliotheque? La bibliotheque est a droite! A gauche! En face de l'eglise! Je voudrais une omlette du fromage! Paris! Paris!
--My line in a really bizarre play. It means: Where is the library? The library is to the right! To the left! Facing the church! I want a cheese omlette! Paris! Paris!
There is the magnetism of Frohike who is able to walk and talk and drive a car after drinking an entire bottle of scotch. There is the appeal of Langly with his long blond hair, black framed glasses, and philosophical issues about having his image bounced off of a satellite. And to make matters worse, there is the elegant Byers in his suit and neatly trimmed beard who utters fifteen syllable words with complete conviction and sincerity, his blue eyes showing a range of emotion in which one cannot help but be lost, his acumen immortalized forever by a rapid series of pictures fired against the tube which. . . But I digress.
--The Brunette