Caroline: I say we take Aromatherapy Government!
Me: This is the scent of Democracy!
Someone: Did the general public see him as more liberal or conservative?
Jess: No, they just saw him as stupid.
If government is getting you down, try a political party!
--Me
Mr. Spencer: What is the significance of Hainan Island?
Me: Is that where the Americans landed? The ones that were held hostage?
Mr. Spencer: Very good.
Me: Oh yeah!
Amber: And they say Republicans have education!
Mr. Spencer: Who draws these lines?
Me: A 3-year-old with an Etch-A-Sketch.
Mr. Spencer: You have to pay me more money or I won't work for you!
Liz: Too bad, I'll find an immigrant.
We have freedom to do anything we want to do as long as we're smart enough not to get caught!
--Jessica
In Feudalism, serfs were all equal, but they all led equally sucky lives.
--Amber
The procedure required for the successful passage of an amendment to the Constitution is... a blessing by the Pope and approval by the Vatican council.
--The Government Disk
I feel a little bad about them making him suffer like that, but I'm sure he has his own little place in Hell.
--Mrs. Guthrie, Stalin
I just get such a kick out of seeing this little Russian premier frolicking around America, wearing Mickey Mouse ears. Could you picture the President going around to foreign countries, wearing a funny hat? Well, I could imagine Bush doing that...
--Mrs. Guthrie, Kruschev
Believe it or not, but Mao was a former librarian. Never trust those librarians. They may look all mild-mannered, but you never know...
--Mrs. Guthrie
It's fascinating reading, provided you want to know all about sewers.
--Mr. Kramer, referring to Les Miserables
Mr. Kramer: What do you know about China?
Me: They eat Chinese food.
--World History II
The Holy Roman Empire - neither holy, nor Roman, nor an Empire.
--Voltaire
Emily: Jenny had a revelation.
Me: Like Mohammed?
Jenny: Yes, and now I'm going to go preach like John Ball.
--The result of studying too much for the History exam.
The church maintained that all peasants were equal before god...but only before god.
--The narrator in a really messed up movie about the Peasants' Revolt.
It's not my clothes that smell! It's me!
--a peasant in the video
The king's council was in panic. ::king and other guy stand praying. All others just stand around.::
--What the narrator was saying vs. what was really happening in the Peasants' Revolt video.
It's about robbing an orchard. Ghastly things like that.
--A nun, talking about Augustine in a video about saints.
And that's how you can always find the devil. You can take his shoes off.
--the nun, talking about how the devil always has pointy feet in illuminated manuscripts.
Weird...odd...but a saint.
--The nun.
He was afraid of losing his Guinness Book of World Records status for standing for the most time on a 3-dimensional pillar.
--the nun
Becky: For the "Who is the Black Prince" question, do we just say what his name is or something?
Mrs. Cunningham: You might need a little more than that. Write about his relationship with his father.
Me: He was his father's son.
Mrs. Cunningham: Wow, that's a real Star Wars idea.
--a conversation in History on Star Wars day (May 19th).
Alexander the Great was GAY????
--Becky
Kira: I want to wear a Thor's Hammer necklace! Then I can be strong!
Me: You know, Thor's Hammer was one of the codenames for the atom bomb.
Kira: I want to wear an atom bomb! Then I can scare people! Oh wait. I already do scare people...
--We WERE talking about Vikings.
Katherine: I'm not sure exactly how to word this, but "Describe the many faces of the Vikings."
Me: Well, some have large chins...
--History class
Mrs. Cunningham: And how long does it last?
Everyone: Life?
Mrs. Cunningham: And then what happens?
Everyone: You die?
Mrs. Cunningham: Well, that's usually what happens at the end of life.
--Feudalism
Mallory: I could never be a monk.
Margaret: That's cause you're a girl, Mallory.
--Discussing the monks' vow of silence.
Because they assume we know that this is North and this is South.
--Me, telling people about maps.
Becky: I swear. Telletubbies are so scary. I bet they put a camera in those dolls and some perverted freak is watching all those little kids.
Me: Jeez, Becky! You're more paranoid than I am!
--An average history class.
Woah! You know what I just realized? The brown is land and the white is water!
--Kira, looking at a Viking map.
Don't they die?
--Becky, during a discussion about fasting during Ramadan.
Jenny: What is Skaldic Poetry?
Me: Poetry in which people scald themselves on things.
Kira: Ooh! A hotplate! Ouch! So poetic! HAHA!
--Another history conversation
Hey! That's cool! I want a helmet!
--Kira, looking at pictures of Viking helmetry.
Mrs. Cunningham: Well, why do we learn history?
Me: Because we have to?
Mrs. Cunningham: Think about it. Who were the previous rulers of Spain? And why wouldn't the Spanish like them?
Me: Saddam HusSPAIN?
--My history teacher and the response I thought of, but was too chicken to suggest.
Anneka: Rome was taken over by the...Teutonic Knights!
Mrs. Cunningham: Don't go to the movies right before you take your exam, Anneka."
--History
Becky: When you think of Spain...you think little houses. You think Zorro-ish.
Charlemagne: Holy Barbarian
--The title of a video we watched in class.
Becky: My dad was saying to my brother "Sit up! Get your elbows off the table! You look like a barbarian!" and I was like "Actually, the Barbarians had some lovely artwork."
Mrs. Cunningham: Ok. So now your dad has a little doll named Mrs. Cunningham that he sticks pins in.
--a history discussion.