If, indeed, Ron has an unknown older brother, it would explain why the Weasleys never talk about him. When you reject a son or brother you're not too keen on bringing this up: "Well, I have to keep up with my brothers, you know, Harry." said Ron. "Percy is a prefect, Charlie was the best Quidditch player in years, Bill was Head Boy, and my oldest brother was a personal advisor to You-know-who."

I have to agree with these statements. Voldemort could have easily gotten HP's toothbrush and then killed him, but Volde needs drama.

Somehow, I can't quite imagine the revived Voldemort turning to his personal design consultant and saying "I do so hate that off-centre assymetric look, it's just so last decade. If only I'd hit him dead centre in the first place. Can we lighten up the look with some strategic MDF motifs, glued and painted, do you suppose?"

As for Percy acting as Percy, I'm going to be keeping a very close on Oliver and Percy during the film, I'm sure there will be some slashy moments there somewhere ....

Percy: Can you pass the salt, Oliver?
Oliver: Sure. *passes salt*

I've got a trilogy of "Draco stories" in the works, starting with Draco Dormiens, continuing on through Draco Sinister, and finishing up with Draco Veritas, in which I kill all my characters to prevent myself from writing yet another sequel and blowing the whole 'trilogy' concept.

Archiphoneme: "I promise, I would sell the soul of my firstborn child for this final chapter, and then I will never trouble you all again, nor, I suspect, ever read any more fanfiction."
Cassie: Now we KNOW that just isn't true. Final chapter coming out in next two weeks....I do not take the souls of firstborn children. I do, however, take Mastercard.

I do love spinning the Snape-is-a-vampire theory, and the many bits about vampires throughout the books make me think and hope that we're going to meet one sooner or later, but I actually hope it isn't Snape. We've already been there, done that with Lupin, and to a lesser extent, with Hagrid. If another teacher turns out to be part-human, part-scary-creature, I'm going to yawn. Got Polyjuice, anyone? There's an unregistered Animagus over here who's thirsty.

Red flag: Krum is actually a duck. Terrific flyer, swims in water too cold for humans, and (the capper) is duck-footed.

However. I really, really dislike JKR's obsession with Dudley's weight. It is not that he's a jerk; Draco's thin and he's a worse jerk--JKR is an equal-opportunity insulter.

Hence, rather than have Harry Potter taken for a transvestite, we translated "jumper" as "sweater".

Maybe Ginny can employ her allure to convince Ben to rip massive holes in the time-space continuum? What do you say, listmember Ben? Are we or are we not easily swayed by feminine wiles? (Which leads into the scary is-Ginny-Harry's-geat-grandma theory.)

Percy is God AND Boba Fett.

Do you really speak it, or are we just going to spend the next hour asking each other the way to the beach in very loud voices?

Neil: Oh yeah - Dumbledore dances with Sprout at the Yule Ball, which loosely translates as: "they are head-over-heels in love with each other and bonded together, immovably, as a mating pair". Er... that is how this shipping thing works, right? I believe the Du/Sp tugboat is officially launched...
Dave: Not for those of us who think it's far more significant that Madame Pomfrey thinks Dumbledore looks good in earmuffs.

If this isn't the cherry of cruelty on top of the sundae of despair that has been my day so far, I don't know what it is.

Told Godric this morning in confidence that I was thinking of selling my soul to gain power over the entire wizarding world.

He's a coldblooded...piece of toast?

Well, you know, we're kept pretty busy having Young Death Eater meetings, and then we spend a lot of time making loads of other students feel bad about their lack of money and social standing. Sometimes we stay up all night and try to raise demons to do our loathsome bidding, but most evenings we just order pizza and pull the wings off a few flies.

That'll be a lot of fun at parties. 'Hi, my name is Draco Malfoy and I can kill absolutely anything, what can YOU do?

I can just see that hanging in the Tate. 'Still Life with Prat in Ridiculous Trousers.'

Don't knock it -- my Dark Arts background just saved your hide, Potter. But don't worry, I'll be sure to call in your expertise as soon as we have to deal with, say, a small box of puppies.

A Mai Tai. With an umbrella. And don't come back until you've got one. I don't care if you have to go to London for it. I'm the Heir of Slytherin and my whims must be served.

But it would amuse me to do so. Of course, it would also amuse me to hang you both headfirst over a scorpion pit.

Toil? Patience? What kid fosters these values? Heck, I'd say most adults when describing their best qualities don't say "I toil well".

On the typical side: I certainly don't think shippers are nuts, but it does strain credulity when people think Harry is going to marry Ginny AND Ron is going to marry Hermione AND Fred is going to marry Angelina AND Fleur is going to marry Bill AND Neville is going to marry Crookshanks. You know, I can believe in one or two childhood-friendship-->marriage relationships, but when there are too many in a single fanfic, I begin to wonder just what's in the Hogwarts water.

Steve: The "Order" of the Phoenix. Of course, it means order as in a religious order or the Order of Merlin 1/c, that sort of thing. Or maybe, just maybe, it refers to the order of spells coming out of a phoenix-feather-equiped wand caught in Priori Incantatem...
Eggplant: Or maybe "order" as in command, maybe the bird is getting bossy. Or maybe "order" as in organized, maybe the bird is a neat freak.
CMC: Or maybe "order" as in Fawkes dropping by Honeydukes and ordering a large Butterbeer to go.
Steve: And this was verbal, right? So we really are just assuming that what she said was "order." Maybe she said The ODOR of the Phoenix! Aha! Let's see how far we can run with THAT.

Oh, now, Susan, we all regard you as a first-class citizen at HP for Grownups. And do you really think that making Voldy or Snape or Malfoy female would mollify the Gender Critics? "Rowling displays her gender-based self-hatred by displacing what she concieves of as Evil onto the diabolic maternal figure of Voldemort, in which the archetypal Female is inextricably linked as the castrating antagonist opposing the so-called protagonist, whose usurpation of the antique matriarchal symbol of the Broom in which to cavort in his Male Competitive Power Games, blah blah blah......."

Long live Harry Potter--the Boy Who Lived (and sparked controversy)!

A long time ago, this list discussed what happens if a female Animagus is pregnant and doesn't switch back to human form before giving birth, and concluded that Crookshanks is McGonagall's love child by a Muggle-type Persian tomcat.

And if JKR is Hermione in disguise, what does that suggest for potential romantic pairings....would you go for the hero or the hero's sidekick? Personally I'd go for the hero's godfather...

Sirius Black belongs to J.K. Rowling....but his heart belongs to me.

You know, if you were a boy, had scruffy black hair, green eyes, round glasses and a scar on your forehead you would look exactly like Harry Potter!

Men In Black (Robes). Saving the wizarding world from the scum of the Dark Side.

Another thing about socks is that they are a pair of something. If we want to get into symbolism, perhaps the socks represent the coming together of a pair and Dumbledore's desire not end up as a single sock, rolling its way round the tumble-dryer of life. I also agree that JKR may be a bit of a foot/sock fetishist, but I doubt that she'd ever reveal such a thing in an interview. If Book Seven is called "Harry Potter and the Kneesocks of Fear" we'll know for sure.

I still think it's quite possible to come up with a believable plot that involves an adult H & H romance, even if Ron is alive and not evil.

And then there is the AvEda Kedavra curse, which not only kills you, it also coats your face with expensive cosmetics.

I've always wondered about Snape's poetic side. I can't help thinking of his very first entry, where he talks about brewing fame and glory and stoppering death. Lovely lyrical stuff! Snape does have a way with words, which he uses more often than not as weapons and as tools for manipulating people. But perhaps he's a frustrated poet too?

?: One thing that I did enjoy were the belly laughs she unintentionally provides with howlers such as: "Pettigrew's missing finger symbolizes his inability to make his point effectively." (p. 66)
Kathy: My personal favorite is where she says the McGonagall is the "fairy godmother figure". Has she even read the books?

1981 - The Potters go into hiding. Wormtail betrays them to Voldemort who goes after them with the results we all know of. Wormtail also frames Sirius for the betrayal, and for his own murder. Sirius ends up in Azkaban, Harry with the Dursleys. Jury still out on who got the worst deal.

Whenever I think of Snape, I want to call him Skafe, maybe that's because both the Snape and our survivor obsessed gym teacher are both semi-evil but claim it's for our own good...

One more for the H/H shippers, even if most people use this to mean Harry/Hermione and not the infinitely more probable Harry/Hedwig.

Kait: You are all evil and must be brainwashed like the rest of us. Repeat after me: "Harry Potter is Good. Harry Potter is Good. Harry Potter will make you smarter. Harry Potter will make you more popular. Harry Potter will make you wealthy. Harry Potter will make you more attractive. Harry Potter will win you friends...."
Keith: I want none of those things. *Evil grin*
Kait:Harry Potter will give you the ability to fly. Harry Potter will give you free tickets to RENT. Harry Potter will teach you how to magically do your homework. Harry Potter will show you The Light (tm). Head tooowwwaaaarrdddsss the light. Harry Potter is all that is healthily insane. Join the insanity....read Harry Potter....
Keith: I don't like RENT though. And I don't have homework. Flying is cool. And when I do I wont go towards the light. That's a Christian thing.
Kait: Ummm......::glances at Keith's sig:: Harry Potter will rid the world of cows. Harry Potter will help you accomplish all your goals. Harry Potter will send his uncle Big Tony after you with a lead pipe if you don't read his books...
Priscilla: ::blinks:: Uncle Tony? Oh I can so picture Sirius is all this mob attire and one of those Mafia Italian accents calling himself "Uncle Tony"... "Papa Sirius don't like the way you been treating Brother Harry..." ::makes slight hand gesture, and a bunch of really big guys come forward, brandish large chains. After all, he *is* The Godfather... Oh god, I've REALLY got to stop reading these books.
Kait: ::laughs hysterically for somewhere between 5 and 15 minutes:: I really need a life, don't I.....but I didn't even think of the implications of that as I wrote it....come to think of it, I CAN see Sirius in mafia garb....::snickers more:: Gee, I wish I had friends who read Harry Potter so I could share that with them...I'll have to go steal some...

Renata: You know, out of all the people that have ever been on this list, you annoy me the most.
Priscilla: Not even Reijos? Now that's sirius-- I mean serious. Yeah. Serious. Sorry...one-track mind.
Katie: You know, that sentence really threw me for a lupin..I mean loop. You know, that's enough french bread for one night.

Malfoy: Right now I'm feeling hungry. Very, very hungry. I haven't eaten since yesterday lunch.
Hermione: Oh. I brought a little food....I’ve got Chocolate Frogs, butterbeer, and pickles.
Malfoy: I said I was hungry, not pregnant.

THOUGHTS FOR DISCUSSION #4: Guys, what would you say to get a Veela to go out with you?

One of my favorite pet theories is that Voldy's ultimate downfall would be to the tune of- "Oops I did it again".

And you are not pathetic, got it? New rule: No one is allowed to self-deprecate themselves. Rule-breakers will be receiving really annoying 'Feel Better' I-net cards, complete with cheesy animation and music that makes your computer crash.

And besides, all the way through the movie if I have to watch Rickman play Snape I'll constantly be envisioning him saying "By Grapthar's hammer, you shall be avenged."

I also got goose-pimply about Fudge and Dumbledore's behaviour in places and for, some reason, Crookshanks gives me the creeps. People and things behaving out of character creates a sense of foreboding. Voldemort is just too hammy and B.A.D. to be scary - he's a complete pantomime villain and would probably look great with a twirly moustache once he has enough face to grow one.

Note, too, that the Deatheaters return this "loyalty" of Voldemort's with coin just about as false. They come back to him out of fear, or because he can offer them scope for depraved pleasures--not because they think, "By gum, my friend Voldemort is in a spot of trouble, and he needs me, and I know he's always stuck up for me before."

Actually, Dumbledore reminds me of a jolly Zen Master. They often say things that seem to be silly or completely eccentric. It's only because they've discovered The Great Joke of the Universe. Once you reach that stage, you tend not to take the world around you too seriously, because you see things from a Cosmic viewpoint. Even if Evil triumphs, you tend to shrug your shoulders and say, "Ah, well, such is the nature of this plane of existence." You also tend to have enormous reserves of power and wisdom that are not apparent to the average person. Being thought of as a senile, trusting old idiot is a wonderful disguise.

We have the classic tragic untold story of the Wizard Lower-Middle Class that JKR and others have tried to hide from us in all these books! Oh the Humanity! Little Sirius grows up to (perish the thought) ride motorcycles and hang out in "a gang" at school. The next thing his parents know he is arrested and sent to Azkaban! Oh the shame of it all. Why didn't they listen to Professor McGonagall's lecture in Wizard Health class?

Kaitlin: I read in Entertainment Weekly that Verne Troyer, "Mini-me" of the Austin Power movie, will be playing a ghoul in the HP movie. So much for casting only British unknowns...
Vicki: Hmm, I always thought that ghouls were tall and skeletally thin. Don't know why, just my impression of them.
Peg: Hogwarts is an equal-opportunity ghoul employer.

Wormtail, I need somebody with brains, somebody whose loyalty has never wavered, and you, unfortunatedly, fulfill neither requirement.

Do you think we've got nothing better to do in Potions than listen to Snape?

Just then, Neville caused a slight diversion by turning into a large canary.

Yeah, we'll call you ... if we ever need someone mental.

I can make that old bloke down there pick his nose again...and again...and again...

Flint nearly kills that Gryffindor seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure.

We could have been killed - or worse, expelled!

What happened...is a complete secret, so, naturally, the whole school knows.

And you think we want to walk around wearing badges saying 'spew', do you?

Just because it's taken you three years to notice, Ron, doesn't mean no one else spotted I'm a girl!

I have become temporarily deaf and haven't any idea what you said.

Hermione: Her-my-oh-nee.
Krum: Herm-own-ninny.
Hermione: Close enough.

Hermione: Honestly, am I the only one who's bothered to read Hogwarts, A History?
Ron: Probably, why?

Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy. I have one just above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground.

I don't think this whole 'book reading' thing will catch on. Watch TV, kids!

No, you will definitely not be reading the novel about the 7 cursed diamonds. I wrote it when I was twelve and it lacks a certain something, like any believable characters or anything in terms of plot.

I was a little bit like Hermione in the book when I was young. I wasn't as clever, and I really hope I wasn't as annoying.

Miss Osgood's 2nd graders from Graland CDS, Denver: Sometimes when we are writing, we ask ourselves, What is in my character's pockets or backpack? It helps us find out what kind of person that character is. What is in Harry Potter's pockets? What is in Voldemort's?
JKR: OK...in Harry's pockets there are some chocolate frogs just in case there is a wizard card inside one of them that was missed. His wand, of course, and probably the latest quidditch ball from the Daily Prophet. Voldemort at the moment doesn't have pockets because he is a kind of spirit, but once he gets his pockets back I don't think any of us want to know what is in there.

Mad? He's a genius! Best wizard in the world! But he is a bit mad, yes. Potatoes, Harry?

Why have you outlined all Lockhart's lessons in little hearts?

Half an inch of skin and sinew holding my neck on, Harry! Most people would think that's good and beheaded, but oh, no, it's not enough for Sir Properly Decapitated-Podmore.

Oh, Potter, you rotter, oh, what you have done,
You're killing off students, you think it's good fun--

I don't need help. It's obvious what this means. There's going to be loads of fog tonight.

I’m highly suspicious of any phrase that includes the words 'Cornish pixies'.

Are you a Prefect, Percy? You should have told us. We had no idea.
Hang on, I think I remember him saying something about it, once...
Or twice...
A minute...
All summer.

Dear me. whats the use of being a disgrace to the name of wizardry if they don't even pay you well for it.

Noble men, working tirelessly to help a new generation of lawbreakers.

Well...when we were in our first year, Harry - young, carefree, and innocent...well more innocent then we are now anyway.

I solemnly swear I am up to no good.

Shall we kill him together?

If you made a better rat than a human, its not much to boast about, Peter.

First of all, I disagree with anyone who thinks that one of the major characters (Harry, Hermione, Ron) will die. I will bet anybody my last knut that the end of book 7 will find them alive and well (after M. Pomfrey regrows several of their organs, obviously).

[The Weasleys] could grow the vegetables themselves and raise turkeys and chickens. The Burrow strikes me as that sort of place. I wonder if they would eat magical animals and vegetables? How about Roasted Blast-Ended Skrewt in Bobotuber sauce with sautéed Gillyweed as a festive alternative?

I mean obviously Ron has some kind of feelings for Hermione in the canon, you'd have to have the intellectual capacity of a stunned herring to miss that.

Katie: I read PoA yesterday... at least, I skipped all then Non-Lupe parts.
Priscilla: That's like me reading a Star Wars book. My reading style is "screw Anakin and Jacen and all of Han's 'Chewie is dead' angst; and let's see whose butt Mara is kicking right now."
Katie: Exactly! Who cares about Harry or whatever his name is?! I mean, what does he do, really, except for defeat Voldemort a few times? Big deal.

Amy: Come on, is EVERYONE at Hogwarts hetero? How 'bout that hunk Bill--what ear does he wear his earring in?
Dave: Oh, don't spoil it for us Bill/Fleur shippers! :) I might just point out that Sinistra's gender is uncertain -- Maybe Moody danced with a *male* astronomy teacher at the Yule Ball!

I say we should all kidnap Daniel, grab a bunch of blowdryers and combs, and mess up his hair reeeeaaaal good. After that, we buy a bunch of brown hair dye, get a really powerful curling iron, and fix Emma's hair correctly. THEN, we get platform shoes (or a stretching rack), and make Rupert taller. Once done, we can go to work on the others.... ::insert evil laughter here::

And lastly -- and here's where we lose the boys a bit -- the description of him in the books as rich, silver-blond (and smart, IMHO) and sarcastic will alas immediately appeal to all us girls who have a penchant for bad guys. If Draco in the books were fat, there'd be a lot less Draco fics. Note the lack of Dudley fics. And the lack of Dudley in leather fics. Now I'm scaring myself. --Cassie, Draco Malfoy

Priscilla: Have you guys noticed that virtually every song ever written that even mentions the word "moon" or "moonlight" is interpreted by the Lupinites as being a Remus song? What's next -- Over the Moon, from RENT?
Kaite: *snerk* Lupinites - sounds like a rock band or a sort of drug ("Yo, man... you want some lupinite, man?"). Sure - the desert setting represents his own despair and isolation, while Elsie represents MPP, and the milk is like, their friendship.... I'll stop now. *grin*

Tandy: And that's why Judge Tandy needs to have a private conference in her chambers with Mr Black - so she can, um, see all the evidence...
Carole: ROFL! Don't you think its enough we put you in position to help decide his fate...hmmmm thinking on that...he may not have as hard a time at trial as we were thinking!
Tandy: Are you accusing the judge of bias simply because she happens to think that the defendant is dead sexy?

My main problem with writing MWPP is it's so...depressing. I mean, no matter how cute and funny and wonderful these Marauder boys are, they are all Horribly Doomed, and that throws a damper on things. Wheras we can do whatever we want with the younger generation. But I digress.

1. Does Lucius have any good qualities?
Why, yes, he has a lovely singing voice. He's a tenor. But when the three tenors rejected him, that's when he vowed vengeance against the rest of the world, and became a bitter, evil man.

I've come up with a new character. His name is Bob the Gender-Equality Veela. He leads the Veela suffrage movement; trying to make people think of Veela as actual people and not just sex objects. After all, look at Fleur! She's beautiful, talented, beautiful, and erm... beautiful! After all, she of all people was chosen to represent Beauxbatons in the Triwizard competition. Pay no attention to the fact that she was the crappiest champion of the lot! She's still beautiful!

I think JKR has made it clear that the Wizarding World discovered feminism at least 2000 years before the Muggles did... Otherwise Hogwarts would have been founded by Godric Gryffindor and Salazaar Slytherin, while Helga Hufflepuff and Rowena Ravenclaw stayed home baking treacle fudge and having Tupper-Caldron parties.

Honoria: What ho? What's this? I declare a national holiday! Cassandra Claire has alighted from her white stallion to stride the streets of our lowly community and actually be at level with us! GREAT GOD ALMIGHTY what a day this is!
Cassie: *raises eyebrow* Last time I looked, it was a Toyota I was alighting from. Did I finally get that pony I always wanted? Now I shall return to bullying my snivelling and obsequious minions because, you know, that's what I like to do.

Maybe this is foreshadowing. Or maybe J.K. Rowling simply preferred the name Remus over Romulus and this will all amount to nothing.

I really appreciated the irony of TMR growing up to lead a mage anti-Muggle crusade out of deep rage at how he himself had been hurt by a Muggle's anti-mage prejudice, when really mage vs Muggle had nothing to do with it and it would have been more relevant for him to crusade against premarital sex.

I cannot imagine what the posting rate here will be like when the film itself is released, but I look forward to Dr Branford's frame by frame description of the film.

Sirius is the Dog Star and Sirius Black turns into a big black dog. I noticed the 'black' but had been thinking that 'sirius' referred to something celestial rather than something canine. The name of the star Sirius is Greek for 'scorcher' and Sirius is Really Hot.

The ancient people believed that the universal Ki energy come from deep space to the Earth through a filter of nine stars. Hence 9 Star Ki. Sirius in not one of them.

Hopefully in this fic I’ll find a happy medium between fluff and Harry-killing.

I'm not particulary interested in Mrs. Figg as DADA. Surely it has to be someone that Dumbledore can trust totally and who knows what they are teaching. Of course, I'm sure he has always wanted that. He just hasn't had much success. Mrs. Figg is probably qualified but I'm hoping for someone much younger and less interested in cabbages.

I think (and hope) the series is going somewhere much more interesting than: