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History of Art and Music (HAM)
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Mr. Long: We're thinking non-idiomatic! What are you going to give the beat to?
Me: Harp!
Did that sound like ballet music? Certainly not tutu music. Possibly tu tu much music.
--Mr. Long
... A company in which the girls were beautiful and practiced and the boys were idiots.
--Mr. Long
Everybody's favourite tuba sonata! Which is kind of like training a moose to learn ballet.
--Mr. Long, Hindemith
Who died and made you decision person?
--Liz
I like the Satan person! He's so funny!
--Jess, Paganini
It's supposed to be St. Mark in ecstasy of writing the written word. So how do you *do* ecstasy?
--Mr. Long, regarding St. Mark on the Ebbo Gospels, who is supposed to look like he's in ecstasy but instead looks like he's being strangled by his robes
I like myself! I like myself with no clothes on! I like myself *in public* with no clothes on!
--Immitating some guy
Caroline: But Amber, why don't you want to look natural when you're older?
Amber: Because when you look natural, your boobs touch your knees!
Mr. Long: Well, I'd hate to call this an "uplifting" discussion...
They have a "Monarch of the Month" club.
--Naples
Mr. Long: Would it disturb you that the pope and John Glenn are exactly the same age?
Amber: If you blew on the Pope, he'd catch pneumonia and die!
This is Adam and Eve in paradise. Good for them.
--regarding Bosch's "Garden of Delights"
Why the guy is locked in the bass drum, I don't know. Possibly the sins of disco.
--regarding Bosch's "Garden of Delights"
Donatello: our first turtle.
Mr. Long: But why an effeminate David?
Amber: I don't know. Maybe he was lonely.
--Regarding Donatello's "David"
It's no surprise that 3 of the 4 turtles are gay.
Meanwhile, Eve has biceps most of the St. Marks boys would kill for.
--the Sistine Chapel ceiling
This is the man who talks back to Popes!