English Class

Oh. For a moment I thought you were being profound.

--More, "A Man For All Seasons"

Wolsey: Well, what d'you think of it?
More: It seems very well phrased, Your Grace.
Wolsey: The devil it does! And apart from the style, Sir Thomas?
More: It's addressed to Cardinal Campeggio.
Wolsey: Yes?
More: Not to our ambassador.
Wolsey: Our ambassador's a ninny.
More: Your Grace appointed him. Wolsey: Yes, I need a ninny in Rome! So that I can write to Cardinal Campeggio!

--A Man for All Seasons

See what grammar does for you? It makes you not stupid!

--Mrs. Thompson, referring to the "Photographs do not bend" gallery.

She was a big, fat vuluptuous woman who threw her weight around, because when you're the earth you can throw your weight around.

--Ms. Deaver, Gaea

She's not allowed to get Odysseus, while Zeus goes out and makes his own immortal Brady Bunch.

--Amber, talking about Calypso in The Odyssey

Ugh, it's Dawn again.

--Hayden, The Odyssey

His ears twinkled with delight.

--Cherise

Let me guess...He had winged words.

--Me, The Odyssey

They go and they cry and they hug and they plot to kill the suitors.

--Hayden, The Odyssey

The New Testament is just the abridged version of the old testament. It's the bible with an introductory paragraph by Satan.

--Cherise

Hey! Butch is going bald! Hey, Mrs. Deaver, maybe she's a wizard in disguise.

--Hayden

Christine: This is the new Jesus.
Hayden: No! It looks like Vampire Jesus!
Christine: It's Pope Jesus.
Me: More like PokeJesus.

--A conversation in English

Me: You could be a modern archeologist!
Christine: I dig up live people? I don't think so...Oh, look! A medicine man!

--English conversation

Amber: You're getting a disease if you kiss the rat.
Me: I don't kiss the rat. I talk to the rat.
Amber: Why? Is it going to talk back?
Me: No, she's just a little sweetie.
Amber: You need a boyfriend, girl. That's what you need.

--Normal conversation in English

Don't you regurgitate grammar at me, young lady!

--Mrs. Deaver

There is a car.
The car is red.
It ran over me
And now I am dead.

--Amber's poem

I think I want to major in Greek sex fetishists.

--Amber

I still don't see how it's possible to rape a cloud.

--Hayden

It's kind of like "Is the cup half full or half empty" and Romeo is thinking that it's half empty, and the friar is about to throw it in his face and say "It's half full, you idiot!"

--Mrs. Nichols, talking about Romeo's banishment in Romeo and Juliet.

Yes, "fishes" does exist. You know "I love the FISHES cause they're so delicious!" And you know that you can trust EVERYTHING you hear on TV.

--me

Teena, Harry, and I will select the curtains, chainsaw, and pacifier to decorate our home.

--a sentence we used in grammar.

It's a subordinate clause! Page 181! Oh, that's sick that I know that.

--Mrs. Nichols.

I hate the voices speaking to me in my head.

-–The sentence Margaret J. made up for a grammar exercise

Read the chorus out loud! And if your family doesn’t put you away, read more out loud!

--Mrs. Nichols on Romeo and Juliet.

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