If they hadn't had a cup of tea, perhaps Cambridge would be credited for discovering Neptune.

It's obviously unfortunate that we don't have three equivalent female stereotypes.

You're expected to sit complacently with your head in the sand while politicians make decisions for you.

"When you want the true American flavour..."

Grace Kelly in "Rear Window": I want you to tell me everything you saw, and what you think it means.
Mark Patterson: (stopping the film) Alright, I want you to tell me everything you saw, and what you think it means.

Kellie: I don't know if I'd want to use handmade cosmetics.
Random Man walking by: YOU need a telescope!

There comes a time in every young girl's life that she begins to ponder the existance of breakfast.

Me: There's no way I'll be able to survive three weeks without my Abbey Road CD.
TV: Come together... right now...
Me: I think the gods are mocking me.

Comparing us to dust particles is a gross exaggeration of our importance.

...and this cosmic spaghetti propogates throughout the whole universe...

Some chromosomes are just a lot sexier than others. There is such thing as a sexy chromosome.

There are much cheaper ways to kill people than messing around with chromosomes.

It's always fun to eat little children.

It doesn't matter if we're watching Doris Day agonizing, James Stewart rushing, police being stupid...

Australia was founded by British rejects.

Doesn't she look like the kind of person that would burst into your house on a rainy night and kill all your children?

Order of getting food will be judged by quietness and natural good looks.

This performance also goes out to Andrew Lloyd Webber, who wrote this musical. Yes, I know, he also wrote Cats, but you've got to learn to forgive and forget.

This scene would be so much easier if all the Jets were just flamboyantly gay.

Me: I get to be the first person on stage!
Tara: Oh yeah? Well I get to climb a fence!
Me: Oh yeah? Well I get to die!
Tara: Oh yeah? Well I get to sing the "cool" song!
Me: Oh yeah? Well I only have to memorize until page 13!

Yay! It's the person that kills the person that kills the person that kills me!

She has no range and I can't understand a word she's saying. All the makings of a professional singer!

Me: I'm an immortal!
Liz: Is it a Highlander sort of affair?
Tara: No, if someone chops her head off she just gets really pissed.

You're prettier than me! Get out of my castle! You have one day to run before I send my men out to devour your soul!

Sleeping Beauty pricks her finger on a sewing machine and dies.

Tara: What long hair you have!
Me: The better to look like Princess Leia with, my dear.
Tara: What big feet you have!
Me: The better to play soccer with, my dear.
Tara: What big teeth you have!
Me: The better to act like Bram Stoker with, my dear!

Oh, no! I must tell Sleazy, Dopey, and Druggie!

Occasionally, you get the urge to rip people's guts out in the middle of a game, but this is perfectly normal.

Pinesy: Audiences are raving. Better than "Cats".
Me: That doesn't sound so hard.

Is the Bermuda Triangle isocoles or scalene?

Paul: What does flight director do?
A Girl: Faint.
Paul: I have to faint???
Tim: ::singing to "It’s my Party":: It’s my mission and I’ll faint if I want to, faint if I want to, faint if I want to...
A Girl: Fainting is optional for flight directors. Capcom has to faint.
Paul: Can Flight Director just go crazy?
Me: All work and no play makes Capcom go crazy!
Tim: ::smash:: Heeeeeeeerrrrreeeeee’s Flight Director!

Tim: ::singing to the tune of "I’m bringing home a baby bumblebee":: I’m bringing home a baby universe.
Something that rhymes but I don’t know what.
Ouch! That sun burnt me!
::slap:: Oops. I just destroyed countless numbers of civilizations!
What do I do now? Go to Disneyland! Oh wait. I destroyed that too.

Currin: If you hear anything inspirational or funny, it’s my quote.

Tim: It’s all psychological. You’re only as dead as you believe you are.

Tim: I am Prometheus. Give me fire from the heavens! Oh! Ouch! [Darn]! It’s hot!

Houston, you have a problem. This is Guido, the back-alley street salesmen. I’ve got your pilot here by the neck with a knife and a .45 to his head. So you better give me 10 million dollars or you’ll never see the light of day again. Which would be about 5 minutes. So you have 4 minutes and 37 seconds before he dies in two ways...

Houston, we have a problem. I’m out of M&M’s.

I am Superman and I can do any-(smash) Ow.

Person 1: Time for the congress of Vienna.
Person 2: We want Poland!
Person 1: You can’t have Poland! You’re France!
Person 2: But we beat up Poland fair and square!
Person 1: Every two-bit dictator can do that.
Person 2: I want London!

Getting punched on St. Patrick’s Day is something that would never happen to me because people have me labeled as one of those guys who’d run through the halls at school with an M-16 shouting "DIE!! DIE!! DIE!!!" That’s not true. I’d run through the halls with a grenade launcher shouting "DIE! DIE! DIE!".

EVA, please inform the Mission Specialists that they are DEAD.

You push me around, she pushes me around, he pushes me around, but I get to press the red button that kills people.

You know, if you heard some big voice booming from the sky telling you to build an ark, wouldn’t you start to question your sanity.

God: Noah! You must build for me an ark!
Noah: How do I know I’m not just insane?
::lightning bolts::
Noah: Ok! Ok! I’ll build an ark! So what are you doing? Making a flood?
God: No. I’m blowing it up.
Noah: Then why would an ark help?
God: I want you to build a Space-Ark.
Noah: Is there any way that you in your supreme wisdom could give me some help in the design?
God: I can give you the secret to faster-than-light travel.
Noah: Oh. Ok. Cool.

Why Space?
Why not?
Why me?

Miscellaneous Guy: I like Tang! Tang is the best!
Jay: So that’s what’s wrong with you.

Martha Stewart Prayer:

They used to play Red Rover, but they stopped because there was a certified psycho in our class named Me.

They just don’t want a normally quiet nerd like me running at breakneck speed screaming his lungs out.

It’s cause evil sucks. Good sucks too, but not as much. It’s my theory of "Everything Sucks".

I got everyone in the cabin that could read English to read this book. Well, actually there were these two girls that didn’t read it. They were those popular snot types. You know, the kind that are like "I broke a nail" and "I just LOVE Dawson’s Creek" and "Dave Mathews Band is so great!"

The day before I left, my parents were saying what would happen if I ruled the world. I’d probably start by taking over Kentucky and name it Timucky. Then I’d take over Tennessee and just nuke it cause Tennessee sucks.

This is Mir. This is Skylab. This is Australia. This is a bunny. Australia. Bunny. Dead.

Rocket go boom. Rocket go down. Rocket hit bunny. Bunny go boom.

Little rabbit foo foo hoppin’ round Australia.
Along comes Skylab and bops him on the head.

There is a thin line between braveness and stupidity. I stand on this line.

Jay: If we've already beaten the Russians in the Space Race, why do we keep going up?
Me: We want to rub their noses it it!

We burn through the ice with a minisub and we float around and gather information; probably put a big gun on it in case there are any Europan whales we have to shoot.

I like this line. "To collect MEANINGFUL scientific data." Now what does that mean?

Yeah. The water’s warm and all the fish are like "Who did it?"

Yeah. Houses fall down, locusts invade the fields, and the Olsen Twins make another movie.

Watch the birdie. ::pow:: You’re a pokeman and your name is Nicotine. Your main attack is to exhale on people. The only way to kill you is to do a Pillsbury Dough Boy impression.

Doesn't hearing his name just make you want to eat guacamole?

Krycek does not "frolic"!

Laurin: It almost killed Scully!
Me: So? Just as long as they don't kiss.

That was perfect! Now do it again!

Why do all the handsome guys have to be evil?

I'm not sadistic! He just looks so cute when he's in pain.

I just happen to be blessed with both asthma and a 30 minute phone card.

We are casualties of the Dangling Duo.

I was just killing! Er...kidding.

Now is a good time to get kidnapped.

Juan is not afraid! Juan has cool glasses!

Ok, what the hell is this and why is it in my shoe?

Don't mind me, I'm just a scientist.

Amy: What are you doing?
Shauna: Committing suicide.
Amy: Ok. Just don't make it too smelly.

No! Not my laundry bag! If you want to strangle yourself, use your own laundry bag!

If you wake up tommorrow, hanging from the flagpole in a little ducttape cocoon, it's not my fault.

Where's my hairthing? Dammit, these things don't just disappear!...except Mulder's sister.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens,
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens,
Brown paper packages tied up with strings,
My throat hurts when I sing...

There are other things you're supposed to look for in a guy! There's looks, too! And let's see...what else? Oh! Yeah! Personality!

Oh, Krycek! My heart beats! Ya know, he's younger...it could work...

Tara: But we have to do our fight scene!
Shauna: But I'm doing my hair!

I'm a really good pickpocket, so that means I'll be a really good neurosurgeon.

Shauna: You gave us the window of opportunity. We just had to open it.
Laurin: Yeah, well I had to close it...and I hope that your fingers get caught in the way.

We're just going to do laundry. We're not going to pick up boys.

I'm going to brush my face. It needs brushing.

I am a flying tortilla!

Scully doesn't think of Mulder as a lover. She thinks of him as a kid...that occasionally saves her life.

This van is the "little engine that couldn't".

I sort of just put two and two together and got three and a half.

I wish that someone would jump me from behind so that I could kick the living sh** out of them.

You're alive. Quit your b*tch*ng.

Well, he does kind of look like a Bertram...

Hey! That kid has a Star Wars t-shirt! Not that I notice things like that.

Don't look you son of a---gun.

Me: Fie!
Tara:Alpha, Beta, Kappa, Delta, Gamma...

I am Duffy the Vampire Spayer!

Give them a chance to grow up! THEN we can eat them!

Me: Plan for the future, but don't sacrifice the present.
Tara: Good quote! Put it in your quotes book!
Me: Actually, I got it from Star Wars.

It's a hard knock life for us,
It's a hard knock life for us.
Listening to Shauna sing
Every noon, night, and morning.
It's a hard knock life.

You're disgusting. You're grounded.

Gimmie your quotie bookie objectie thingy of insanity!

You think he's cute? He looks like an ugly version of Langly!

I'm gonna name one of my stuffed animals Patrick. It has to be adorable, cute, and squishy. Just like Patrick.

Tara: Guess who I really want to see right now.
Shauna: Patrick?
Tara: How'd you guess? You must be psychic. Or psycho.

Um...Daddy Warbucks doesn't have dreads.

Tara: You look like...
Me: Kenobi spice?

Bye, bye Mr. Anakin pie,
Drove my chevy to the levy but it was being used by another Jedi,
And 'em good old boys were using lightsabers to poke out their eyes
Singin' this'll be the way that I die,
This'll be the way that I die.

I'm confused. And I don't like being confused.

Tara: Why should I be nice to you?
Laurin: Because time and again I have tried to be courteous to you.
Tara: Tell me why I should be nice to you.
Laurin: Because time and again I have tried to be courteous to you.
Tara: Wait, wait, wait. Why should I be nice to you?
Laurin: Because time and again I have tried to be courteous to you.
Tara: Do you realize that you've just said that phrase three times?

Can I nuzzle your feet?

Ok, if I wake up dead tomorrow, I'm going to be pissed.

Me: Woah, Tara! I don't think Daddy Warbucks is interested in Annie in that way!
Tara: If you only knew...

I'm gonna get another puppy. I'll name him Patrick but call him Patch. Isn't that such a cute name? Patch? Perfect for Patrick.

Cassie: I hate earrings on guys. But on Patrick, it looks cute. Laurin: You'd think Patrick would look cute with a paper bag over his head.

You really should curb those homicidal tendencies.

Patrick hugged me twice. I can die happy now. Of course, I'd like to spend more time with him before I die.

Person: What time is it?
Sharon: 25 past 8. That's 8:25 for you Americans.

Quiet! I need to dream about Patrick!

I'm normal. It's the rest of the world that's strange.

Woo-hoo! My shoes smell!

I'm going to miss not missing my parents!

Have I told you about my love affair with bleach?

Don't mind me. I'm just psychotic.

When I look this good in the morning, I don't know how anybody resists me.

Melanie: What are you doing up there, John? Do you have a scene in the orphans' bed?
John: I'd like to!

I'm sure she could sing really well if she actually knew the tune.

Patrick is handsome, nice, cute, and all that other squishy stuff.

I'm being extra evil with sugar on top.

The new PINESY 2000! Now with detatchable head!

She looks like orphan Annie on steroids!

If you guys are late, I will personally shoot you in the foot and bury you alive.

The throat is the narrowest part of the river. It's also the deepest, hence the name "Deep Throat".

Wow! We all have back problems! We could have one big back brace party!

Someday you're going to be attacked by boards, so this is your self-defense against wooden boards.

Jeez! Langly looks like Darth Maul!

Please go away often.

HA! I can beat you! I have HAIR!

It's destiny. I'm supposed to smack her or something.

Woman looking after man, is normal. Woman looking after woman...I can understand that. Woman looking after film? Not normal.

Dressing up for handsome man is good, but dressing up for film is not normal!

Max: Why are they burning the Jawas?
Me: I don't know.
Max: [Jawa] Please! No! I'm aliveeeee!!!

That's scary. You look like you're either going to kill something or have sex with somebody.

And how are they going to explain why Palpatine went bad? Or why the citizens of Naboo would vote for a 14 year old? Episode Zero?

Wow! My A Cappella class is better than my Espionage class! They didn't even THINK about getting to class using the thermal vents to get to class!

::singing::
There's no more chicken nuggets
But I like fish nuggets
So that's no big problem for me.
Please give me a nugget
Any kind of nugget
I like every nugget, you see.

He's the sexiest 41-year-old alive.

Fie! Fie upon you and all you stand for! Except Star Wars. I don't fie Star Wars. As for now, Star Wars is completely un-fied.

We need confidence! We need caffiene!

Well, Mr. Spock the Egg says you're illogical. So there.

I would rather chew on broken glass.

Excuse me...you do not have the Jar Jar.

Strike out of anger, Luke. That's a way to not succumb to the Dark Side.

Leia is the überwoman.

It's really cool, but I don't get it.

You pot-bellied, cross-eyed, feather-bottomed excuse for a duck!

I'm on a strict seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.

I once knew a girl...who loved to put spice in her sauerkraut. Soon, regular sauerkraut wasn't good enough for her. She needed spiced sauerkraut. Then, she needed to put even more spice in her sauerkraut. She became a Spice Girl. This leads to chaos.

Did you wake up this morning and wonder if someone would diss the size of your ears?

Kayo will eventually snap and eat you. I don't think you want that.

We are bridge women! Like goats!

My goal for the day is that if I make a mistake, make it loud.

I am eating my head.

YODA IS GOD

Qui-Gon could've used some Bengay.

Joni: Go sit on a potato pan!
Me: Oh, go mash your mnm's.

No one really understands the rap anyway, so does it really matter if it's unexplorific?

Sebulba is so cute!

When I'm done with you, you'll need 2 tubes of Bengay!

Borg. Sounds swedish.

Normality is a sin. I'm an angel.

I could crush your puny larnyx like a grape, you dweeb.

Anne: Hey! I got he special spoon! Now I'm guaranteed good luck for the rest of the day!
Me: Cool! Meanwhile, that's a fork.

Aaah!! She's going to hurt us so bad we'll need 3 tubes of Bengay!

Stop cutting me in half. It gets annoying.

And now everyone's favorite Star Trek character...R2D2!!!

Ok, I'm dead. Now give me the lightsaber.

So Han Solo is basically a high-ranking housewife?

Dalles is making nice for a FILM ,ONLY A FILM , ok Star Wars. Obelix (,he is a Comicfigurein the Comic Asterix and Odelix) woud say: "They are crazy, the Amis!"

Row, row, row your boat,
Underneath the stream.
Ha ha ha, I fooled you all.
I'm a submarine.

You get the idea that people a long time ago had a lot of free time on their hands?

If you can see Böotes the ice cream cone, you're thinking like me. I don't know if that's good or bad, though.

It turns out that this is one of the more boring, depressing, run of the mill stars.

Deneb-the tail feathers of the great flying chicken!

Altaire - the twinky star!

Do you see the upside down 1/2 of a flying horse? Good. Neither do I.

Enith! The nose star!

Bad comet! Dirty comet!

2 Million dollars worth of equiptment and I still have to supply my own sound effects.

You have no idea how hungry I am. My stomach feels like that crevice that goes all the way to America.

Looking at all the quotes that you've taken from me, it occured to me that I have a sense of humor.

You've just eaten food I bought. I now own you...until you go to the bathroom.

You dance like a Jedi!

I enjoy being mean.

The world will be a better place someday...in about 50 or 60 years when you die.

Who has the tape?...Ok, who put it in my pocket?

They are going to lookk death in the eyes and hit it on the snout.

::Apu voice:: You are mocking my people and I do not appreciate it so get out.

My head is full of chopstick! I don't like it!

Can we please refrain from using such horrible language? You have to eat with that mouth, so what do you want it to be dirty?

Well of course Marron doesn't like it! That's why we do it!

We drive crazy people insane.

I'm obsessed with my book. It's not finished yet. I have a character based on you. She dies.